The rules of Texas are a simple, yet unwavering creed held up by anybody who wishes to call themselves an inhabitant of this blessed state.
1. Always go 10 or more above the speed limit.
2. If you ever find yourself in such an unsultry place as dallas (or the “keep Austin weird” parts of Austin) make no eye contact and keep on driving.
3. Whataburger and Dr. Pepper are supreme. Do not question it, and most of all don’t disagree with it.
4. Oklahoma and Texas sure do hate each other, but it’s like a brotherly hate.
5. Both california (I refuse to capitalize the c) and Texas sure do hate each other. This isn’t brotherly. californians, (I refuse to capitalize the c) unless escaping and seeking asylum, should be shot on sight.
6. When flying a Texas flag, make sure to raise it to the same height as the American flag.
7. Never forget that Texas was once it’s own country.
8. Texas is the only place more American than America.
9. Every Texan has the God-given right and ability to shoot a gun.
10. Don’t mess with Texas.
Failure to recognize and comply with these rules will result in severe consequences and punishment, included but not limited to: revoking of your Whataburger privileges, revoking of your Dr. Pepper privileges, or exile to california (I refuse to capitalize the c)
1. Always go 10 or more above the speed limit.
2. If you ever find yourself in such an unsultry place as dallas (or the “keep Austin weird” parts of Austin) make no eye contact and keep on driving.
3. Whataburger and Dr. Pepper are supreme. Do not question it, and most of all don’t disagree with it.
4. Oklahoma and Texas sure do hate each other, but it’s like a brotherly hate.
5. Both california (I refuse to capitalize the c) and Texas sure do hate each other. This isn’t brotherly. californians, (I refuse to capitalize the c) unless escaping and seeking asylum, should be shot on sight.
6. When flying a Texas flag, make sure to raise it to the same height as the American flag.
7. Never forget that Texas was once it’s own country.
8. Texas is the only place more American than America.
9. Every Texan has the God-given right and ability to shoot a gun.
10. Don’t mess with Texas.
Failure to recognize and comply with these rules will result in severe consequences and punishment, included but not limited to: revoking of your Whataburger privileges, revoking of your Dr. Pepper privileges, or exile to california (I refuse to capitalize the c)
Person A: man I just visited Texas, what an awful place.
Person B: Apologize. Now. You commie piece of shit.
Person A: why is there a massive crowd trying to murder me?
Person B: you obviously deserve it, you don’t follow The Rules of Texas
Person B: Apologize. Now. You commie piece of shit.
Person A: why is there a massive crowd trying to murder me?
Person B: you obviously deserve it, you don’t follow The Rules of Texas
by Wootermaloon February 23, 2021
Get the The Rules of Texas mug.When a girl is licking or sucking your balls or asshole from behind and pulls your cock straight down while making a horn noise like she is pulling a big rig (18-Wheeler) horn.
by Crazy Bill and Lenny of Dirt Bag Inc. December 9, 2008
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by I ride my horse to work. March 21, 2013
Get the Texas mug.The smallest county in Texas is also home to some seriously stupid kids. In the High Schools 1/2 of the kids smoke weed and almost all of them leave High School non Virgins. The few black guys there are have the hottest white girls on their dicks at will. It is also impossible to find a hot girl who hasn't sent out nude pics. Every hot girl in the school (im talking to you RHHS) has some seriously hot nude pics. Good luck trying to thrive here if you are any religion besides christian. The word Jesus is in every other sentence that comes out of peoples mouths here. Did i mention Chuck Norris also live in this town? Not to sure what brought him here, the low perfect blend of city and country or the fine ass milfs that live here feeding off of their rich ass husbands. Located next to a large lake you can always count on the hot chicks of Facebook posting sexy Bikini pics on their boats. If you are intrested in this town do not move here. Our streets are falling apart from heavy traffic and we dont want anymore people moving in.
by kewl shmuel July 24, 2012
Get the Rockwall Texas mug.A book that contains deliberately misleading or incorrect information, often with a strong right-wing bias. It may have a revisionist attitude towards history, neglecting certain events or figures of historical importance simply because they are not conservative.
I realized that the textbook assigned for my history class was actually a texastbook once I read about how Nixon was a hero for being able to prevent the evil Lyndon B Johnson from turning America into a communist state.
Ugh, this quantum physics textbook is such a texastbook - it says that nuclear fission occurs because Baby Jesus wanted us to win Dubya Dubya Deuce, not because Uranium atoms are bombarded with neutrons.
Darwin's Theory of Evolution was just a small footnote in the chapter about Intelligent Design in the new history texastbooks that my school got.
Ugh, this quantum physics textbook is such a texastbook - it says that nuclear fission occurs because Baby Jesus wanted us to win Dubya Dubya Deuce, not because Uranium atoms are bombarded with neutrons.
Darwin's Theory of Evolution was just a small footnote in the chapter about Intelligent Design in the new history texastbooks that my school got.
by TSPrr March 21, 2010
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