Darwin Retrieval

The frantic, high-stress act of pulling a Bro out of a busy intersection or dual carriageway after they have successfully performed a Frogger Faceplant.
Unlike the "Bro" who is often protected by a mix of adrenaline and sheer lack of foresight, the person performing the Darwin Retrieval experiences a massive cortisol spike and a heart rate that exceeds peak cardiovascular training. The "Retriever" is essentially forced into a life-or-death rescue mission because the "Bro" decided to treat a busy road like a Level 1 arcade game.

"I went to the Ogoh-Ogoh parade to see the statues, but I ended up performing a Darwin Retrieval instead. After Chad ate pavement in front of a taxi, I had to dodge traffic to drag him to the curb. My heart was pounding harder than a Barry's Bootcamp class for three hours afterward."

Darwin Retrieval by Calzords Dad March 18, 2026

John Darwin 

The famous canoeist from Hartlepool who faked his death for insurance purposes, whos name is now used in humourous phrases.
He is the reason why the area of Hartelpool, Seaton Carew is now known as "Seaton Canoe".

Trev's been missing for 2 weeks now, I think he's done a John Darwin.

Im sick of this s£$#t hole, I feel like doing a John Darwin.

John Darwin by Moe UK February 22, 2009

Let’s Go Darwin 

Let’s go Darwin is a play on the phrase “Let’s go Brandon”. It is used in response to those that spout misinformation or are anti-vax, specifically for the covid vaccines.

I’m not taking that dang jab. My neighbor that is a retired nurse said everyone in the hospital has the vaccine, and they’re all dying.

Okay Bob. Don’t get the vaccine and don’t seek help when you’re sick. Let’s go Darwin.

Let’s Go Darwin by Alphabet-soup2025 December 24, 2021

Charles Darwin 

An English Naturalist who was the author of “Origin of Species” as well as several other books. Charles Darwin revolutionized biology with the scientific theory of evolution. Evolution is Descent with modification. Change in the genetic composition of a population during successive generations, as a result of natural selection acting on the genetic variation among individuals, and resulting in the development of new species. This is a scientific fact and the theory of evolution has never been disproved much as some would like to see that happen.

For some reason this inspires great hostility among people who have obviously never read or done research on evolution. (As evidenced by the questions about why are there still apes. Answer: Evolution isn’t a ladder, it more like a tree that has many branches. Humans didn’t evolve from modern day apes such as chimpanzees… humans and chimps have a common ancestor. The descendents of that common ancestor split off into different species over millions of years. )

Charles Darwin had ten children, three of whom died early. Many of his surviving children and their grandchildren would later achieve notability themselves.

Charles Darwin by OneBadAsp November 3, 2006

Going Darwin 

The actions of a person that will cause them to remove themselves from the gene pool.

When he entered his homemade space rocket I knew he was going Darwin

Going Darwin by Fritzz October 5, 2009

Pulling a Darwin 

Not to be confused with the scientific theory of a branching pattern of evolution; pulling a Darwin actually pertains to a particular style of professionalism.

Pulling a Darwin is when one abandons his/her social and career obligations in order to fully commit to a spontaneous act of singing.

Person 1: So what's going on with you today man?
Person 2: TROLOLOLOLOOOO
Person 1: Ugh guess someone is pulling a Darwin today

Pulling a Darwin by Awesome541841 August 15, 2010

reverse darwin 

To be forcefully invaded anally by a large group of hairy women.

Rob copped a reverse darwin on the weekend.

reverse darwin by dav013 October 15, 2007