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Landover Baptist Church

A fictional church located in the fictional universe of Freehold, Iowa; its website was created by Chris Harper and Paul A. Bradley as parody of Fundamentalist christianity; the website is known for it's satirical views on religion, christianity, and the Bible. Some people actually take it seriously, but it is purely satire.
Person A: "Hey did you read this Christian website?"
Person B: "No, what does it say?"
Person A: "It says that homosexuals have long hair."
Person B: "Didn't Jesus have long hair?"
Person A: "That's the thing: it says when Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit whispered in his ear for him to get a hair cut."
Person B: "What, that's absurd! "
Person C: "Yeah, kinda sounds like Landover Baptist Church and its black propaganda."
by Estelwen June 3, 2014
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Baptist passion check

This is a subtle touching of a guy's crotch area to see whether he is beginning to have an erection. The plan is that, if he is, to stop the deep kissing or making out.
Anne stopped Tom in mid-kiss after he failed the Baptist passion check.
by banana oil October 18, 2010
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Southern Baptist

Currently, the largest protestant denomination. They believe the following:

1.The scriptures (Bible) are the inerrant Word of God.

2.Trinity (ONE God in 3 persons, who are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit)

3.Salvation is by grace alone. (You cannot work your way to heaven)

4.Once Saved Always Saved (That is, you cannot lose your salvation)

5.Man's nature is sinful.

6.Baptism by immersion. Baptism is a picture of your salvation and it does not save you.

Well, those are some of the basic fundamental beliefs that Southern Baptists have.
Southern Baptists go by what the Bible says alone.
by JohnJohn1186 November 5, 2004
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Free Will Baptist Church

A church that believes one can walk away from their salvation. Freewill Baptists are contrary to Baptists in this regard as Baptists believe once one has been saved, they are always saved.
The National Association of Free Will Baptists have over 2,400 churches in 42 states and 14 foreign countries. Free Will Baptist Churches are conservative.
by Perk25 January 6, 2006
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Westboro Baptist Church

A group of sick fucks that give Christianity a bad name. They go around picketing and protesting every fucking thing that's beliefs are not absolutely identical to theirs. They claim that everyone who tolerates homosexuality or anything they disagree with for that matter is going to hell. It's fucking shit. They have no sanity or compassion in them, and if anyone deserves to go to fucking hell, it's them. They're sorry fucking excuses for human beings.
The westboro baptist church apparently thinks that God hates fags, dykes, America, and anything else that is not 100% Christian. Someone needs to blow their fucking heads off. Ignorant cunts make me sick.
by xxXxx October 28, 2013
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baptist

Part of a Christian movement relating to protestant Christianity. Baptist emphasise Believers Baptism, ie accepting God as saviour and Lord and being dunked in a pool of water in front of hundreds of people. In the late 1990s, there were about 43 million Baptists worldwide with about 33 million in the United States.

Baptists often form working groups, ie Southern Baptist Alliance, to support each other. There is also a Baptist World Alliance which is chaired by Rev. David Coffey
He is part of the Baptist family
by David Bunce August 23, 2005
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WestBoro Baptist Church a.k.a Fred Phillips

A group of homophobic idiots who spend their time making countless hateful posters because no one gives them the time of day. They also have incest.
The WestBoro Baptist Church a.k.a Fred Phillips are homophobic ass wholes.
by kissmyacccccccccccebabe March 17, 2011
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