turd gurggle

The sound the stomach makes moments before you take a crap.

"Ah, man my belly just turd gurggled."

by Chushyabbfle November 14, 2013

Turd Trampoline

A layer of toilet paper put into the toilet to prevent a back splash whilst taking a dump.

Russ don't forget to lay out the turd trampoline. Protect that ass from the shit water splash.

by 123bdk March 30, 2021

chambering a turd

Similar to the cycles of function for an M4 rifle, except that you are extracting a turd during anal sex, allowing it to fall level with the vagina, then chambering it into her pussy with your cock. Your penis is used as the bolt carrier group.

I don't think I will be seeing Sarah anymore. We got a little kinky last night and I ended up chambering a turd. The weird thing is she actually liked it, but I don't know if I can live with myself.

by trace brock January 12, 2019

Lumber Turds

Very painful 15 minutes worth of pooping almost your insides out because of all the lumber you carry all day. It's usually a lot of sounds of pain followed by a sort of diarrhea pressure washer spray of poop.

Oh my God Bob has lumber turds, he's pooping his brains out. I can hear him screaming and the smell is very alien like.

by PandasPaw March 17, 2021

turd fleece

When you have to warm your self up by coating yourself in doo doo.

What are you doing in there? "Shut up man, I making my turd fleece!"

by Bigcarl510 August 09, 2015

turd chopper

A special knife dedicated to slice up the turd that's too big to flush.

Bloody hell, that was a big one. Just had to get the turd chopper out.

by manmarcoman May 17, 2016

Turd savant

A turd savant is the Rainman of poop. This unique genius can tell you the state of your health with a quick look at your poop.

Turd savant: See how that log veers to the left? Not good. Drink chamomile tea at bedtime for a week to get more rest. Then snap a pic of your morning poop, text it to me and I will give you an update.

by LetsPlayKeepAway December 18, 2019