Wailing Wanks

Also known as Frightened Masturbation or The Screaming Skeets. It happens while on 24 hour acid trip, when one starts to jerk off and sees a extremely scary hallucination and subsequently starts scream while still jerkin it.

Kyle was so f-up I could hear him suffering through the wailing wanks in the room next door.

by w@mMy s@ndw1cH?!1! May 24, 2006

Thinky wank

where you don't use porn to wank

Me: "i'm going for a Thinky Wank"
Friend:"who you going to think about?"
Me: "your mum"

by buttonsex February 28, 2012

Tobasco Wank

The act of smacking the acorn without washing your hands after handling spicey food anything upto half an hour after doing so (depending on the level of culinery heat).

Usualy results in some sort of aggitation and burning. This is a non advisable activity, and is some what frowned appon by most social circles as a method of arousal. It is therefore only accepted as a result of some sort of carelessness and or poor personal hygeine.

Jack: Shit man get me some bread...
john: what the hell for
Jack: I need to wrap it round my shaft, i've only gone and had a fucking tobasco wank.
John: Wtf, your bad, I need that for lunch tommorow tosser!

by farmerboy July 5, 2009

Tongue Wank

A taste sensation. When you eat food that's taste so good it's like having an orgasm in your mouth!

'The food at Manchetester House was amazing. It was like having a tongue wank!

by Dirty JD September 18, 2016

wank momma

A woman who is not gettin any action, the opposite of a mack momma.

Damn Kellie, u thinkin about Ralph all the time has turned you into a wank momma.

by darcmatter May 11, 2006

Platinum Wank

When a "posh wank" is insufficient.
involves the use of a condom AND lubricant.

Maybe even a pre shower, shave and shite etc...
you get the idea.

T: "hey Dave, did u pull your head off last night with that porn we traded....?"

D: "hell ye, but I had to go platinum. a poshy just wouldn't do!"

T: "A platinum wank eh? I like ur style! bit expensive tho"

by h2ous June 16, 2009

Wank Chariot

Military slang for a single bed. Named such because they are only good for sleeping and masturbating feverishly in.

"can I come to yours tonight baby?"
"Fuck that, bitch, it's called a wank chariot for a reason"

by VuWblk April 22, 2015