monkey jesus

An extremely ugly, undesirable person.

That girl is straight monkey jesus.

by K.G. MadMan June 14, 2005

baby jesus

Another term for blow job, "bj"

Mary was still a virgin and wasn't ready for sex, so she gave him a baby jesus.

by Pilot K October 14, 2013

Jesus Christ

Interjection best used when in pain, surprise, or discontent. See also shit,holy shit.

Jesus Christ: I am your lord and savior. I have returned.
Person: Jesus Christ!

by Jesus Himself June 29, 2006

Jesus Patrol

A group of government agents who are in search for Jesus, with the aid of the sex detector gun.

The Jesus Patrol has yet to find the Jesus.

by Murderous Joe December 11, 2003

Jesus Freak

Off-set of Christianity which brings shame to real Christians. The emos of religion if you will.
Crazy people who take the already fucked up laws of Christinaity to the extreme. They like Hell Houses,throwing holy water all over the place and George Bush. Oh,and Mel Gibson.
Jesus Freaks fear/loathe two thing: Slayer and Bill Hicks.

The Jesus Freak took her nine year old to see The Passion Of The Christ,then later that day she went to a rally to get Brokeback Mountain banned from cinemas.

Me: "Hey,why did Jesus walk on water?"
JesusFreak: "Well-"
Me:"Everyone knows, SHIT FLOATS!"
Me ~runs like hell~

by bandanasarerad October 13, 2006

Jesus Biscuit

Another name for the Christian Eucharist, the white wafer given out during Holy Communion

Ahh man those Jesus Biscuit taste like shit!

by Imaholyguy October 21, 2010

jesus-whore

a loose or promiscuous woman/or girl who still firmly believes in their religion.

person 1: "did you hear that she wouldn't take off her cross necklace when they were having sex?"

person 2: "ohmigod she's such a jesus-whore"

by leeeeeeluh September 12, 2007