Johnson

Another phrase used for the term ‘joint’

He had just finished nutting in Becky’s tight hoop as he smoked on a big fat Johnson

by Bigcollins April 8, 2022

Johnson

When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.

To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.

I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.

by dying_fish September 26, 2020

Muddy Johnson

When you get shit-dicked with pungent diarrhea. The kind that stings the nose and causes the eyes to water.

"I was on a Tinder date the other day and it went horrible. We had lunch at Taco Bell and she ended up giving me a Muddy Johnson later that night."

by Fructussy October 17, 2025

kirsten johnson

A tall beautiful independent woman with a lot of confidence. She is very different to others and enjoys standing out. She will be shy at first but when you meet her, you will never want to leave her. She will always put others first and go out of her way to help anybody. She notices bad vibes straight away and keeps out of trouble. She is a unique, loyal and generous person and her bubbly personality will keep you laughing all night!

“Who’s that stunner over there?”
“That’s Kirsten Johnson!”

by Nestrik nosonhoj November 4, 2020

joe johnson

your mom probably

person 1: ay you know joe johnson?

person 2: joe johnson who?

person 1: joe johsnon your mom hahaha lol lmao

person 2: your ip address is 192.321.46.54

by john johnson joe June 14, 2023

cannon ball johnson

when her pussy is so loose that you climb onto the dresser and cannon ball into it.

man, last night i cannon ball johnson'd your sister!

by Kobe Minx October 24, 2017

Johnsoned

When a homophobic man gets found out to be gay in a very ironic/funny fashion. Like American politician Mike Johnson, who sent a picture of his face to a man on Grindr, after referring to same-sex marriage as a, "Dark harbinger of chaos"

Guy 1: Did you hear what happened with Mike Johnson?

Guy 2: No, what happened to him?

Guy 1: He sent his face pic to a guy he was trying to hook up with on Grindr

Guy 2: That homophobic asshole got Johnsoned on Grindr? What a dork

by Minty Freshness March 26, 2025