Chocolate Jesus

A formed chocolate bar in the shape of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

I gave that self rightious preachy fat bitch a chocolate Jesus for Christmas. She loved it and then ate Christ's head.

by [e-mail] December 24, 2004

Jesus Christ

An exclamation gemerally used to express anguish or dismay.

Jim: Some mo fo just keyed your ride dude !
Bob: JESUS CHRIST ! !

or

In poker your straight loses to a full house and you exclaim JESUS CHRIST ! !

by MDog221 July 15, 2006

pull a jesus

1. When someone accomplishes something in a way that seems miraculous.
2. When someone tries to resolve a disagreement using jesus or the bible to back him/her up.

1. They thought he died in that weird cloning experiment but he pulled a jesus.
2. He was really pissed, but then she tried to pull a jesus on him and made it even worse.

by SabMaster February 4, 2010

Golden Jesus

Pure pharmaceutical grade heroin (diacetylmorphine).

The term was first coined in the autobiographical book `Candy´ by Luke Davies (and subsequently the movie `Candy´ starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish), when the character Casper (Geoffrey Rush) a lecturing chemist & sometime opiate user synthesizes his own `Golden Jesus´ (diacetylmorphine) from Panadine Forte.

by Chemgirl January 3, 2010

Man-Jesus

A man who is superior to yourself in several ways (either perceived or otherwise), who is currently dating a woman you are interested in. When he is better looking/smarter/wealthier/more educated/more adventurous than you are, he represents an idealized version of manhood or a picture of maleness that other men are expected to reach but realistically have little chance of doing. Hence, he is an example of Man-Jesus.

Yeah, I'd ask her out...but you've never met her boyfriend. He's Man-Jesus, I don't measure up.

by NachtKreiger August 3, 2010

pulled a jesus

Surprising someone because they thought you were dead, or, more commonly, being gone for a long time and suddenly show up unannounced.

Guy 1: "Hey, you're back!"
Guy 2: "Yeah, I pulled a Jesus."

by Wartooth June 24, 2008

Jesus Chillers

Also referred to as "JC's"

1- Freakishly comfortable flip-flops, or throwback style moccasin type footwear that one wears when bummin' it. (Like the stuff they wore in biblical days)

2- That group of motivated religious types which inhabit every college campus, have weekly meetings under the same shade tree, and attempt to lure in unsuspecting students at the nearby soda machines.

AFTER A LONG NIGHT:

Skyler: "Yo kev, lets hit up some brunch"
Kevin: "Cool, lemme get down on my Jesus chillers"
Skyler: "tight"

by SDGofNEWPORT January 6, 2009