gramp wank

masturbation session that goes on for so long that all enjoyment and horniness is eventually lost
Yeah I got home after ten JD and coke and had me a gramp wank
by userpthat December 05, 2016
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Crab-Wank

To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.

Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 08, 2021
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Fantasy Wank

A wank using your imagination of a particular fantasy e.g fucking your neighbor or teacher or mum or dad
I enjoyed a pleasurable fantasy wank last night over my sisters hot friend
by Max Pickard May 02, 2018
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Think Wank

A wank achieved with no aid other than your own memory or imagination.
A power cut is no problem, so long as you have the power of the Think Wank.
by MikeMilligan December 13, 2021
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wanking friday

When working a full week so much that the thought of being friday makes you and your colleagues suffer from a compulsive will to masturbate all the day.
"Happy wanking friday fuckers !"
by Willy Friday Wanker September 25, 2015
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Salary Wank

"Has anyone seen Charlie? "
"Yea, I think he's ducked out for a Salary Wank"
by Guido Lasalsa July 03, 2022
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Salary Wank

"Has anyone seen Charlie?"
"Yea...he's ducked off for a Salary Wank"
by Guido Lasalsa July 03, 2022
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