Wank Fiend

A person (typically a family member) that calls you right before you ejaculate, messing up your rhythm and taking you out of the zone

Last night I was in the middle of a great jerk off session until my great grandma phoned me. She is such a wank fiend

by Dr. Schmedt May 18, 2018

Wank Panther

The act of lying on a tree branch depositing ejaculate onto unsuspecting people below.

Marty McFly went back in time and found his dad in a tree peering at his mum. What a wank panther thought Marty.

by tosk February 17, 2021

Cave Wank

The act of gently inserting a fist into a woman's uterus, followed by his penis and masturbates while his fist is inside of the uterus.

"Dude, my girlfriend is so dirty I cave wanked the fucked out of her last night"

by hellotosis August 28, 2018

eppileptic wank

When you cause someone who is epileptic to have a seizure while they are holding their penis, causing them to have a seizure and tuss off at the same time

Riley ended up having an eppileptic wank when Harvey shone a torch into his eyes.

by Seabridge Memester June 6, 2016

radar wank

Friends and family around feeling horny?

Have a radar wank.

The act of wanking with someone close by while also being aware you could be caught at any moment so you are ready to hide your wood.

My wife was being frigid she went downstairs so I decided to have a radar wank.

by Ronk5 October 5, 2023

Safety Wank

The act of masturbation prior to a sexual encounter, used to prolong intercourse.

Person 1: "Brooooo, I'm hooking up with Amy tonight!"
Person 2: "Oh nice dude, she's so hot!"
Person 1: "Tell me about it, I'm going to need a quick safety wank before going to her place."

by BicBoi4000 August 27, 2021

Wank Bandit

The act of sneaking into your neighbours house, connecting to and watching some porn on their own wifi until you ejaculate on a random thing in their home e.g. bed, sink, kettle etc. and go home like nothing happened.

This can also be done in schools, shops or other public venues.

Keith - “I left our neighbour Eugene a little present inside the dishwasher!”
Fredrick - “Dude that’s nuts”
Keith - “I know but not the kinda of nuts your thinking of, I pulled a wank bandit on him”
Fredrick - ...
Keith - “I also brutally slaughtered his wife and children”
Fredrick - “Nice”

by WalnutPaste April 20, 2020