Eco Wank

Having a tug while listening to erotic noises coming from your housemates bedroom.

I had an Eco Wank last night while Vitu was banging is bird.

by Loverat101 October 22, 2019

Burglar Wank

Pleasuring yourself to climax whilst your partner lays asleep next to you in bed (in the dark)

You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate

by aljazmin November 12, 2021

Memory Wanking

When you're horny as fuck and you don't have time to pull up any porn, so you just have to remember some porn you once watched

Beau: 'You took a while in there.'
Lachlan: 'Yeah I was memory wanking!'
Beau: 'Fuckin legend'

by Your Local Perth Guide July 19, 2021

Wank Features

When a guy is acting like a wanker and has the features of a wanker.

Has wank features been in touch yet? 🙄

by Sez1987 August 23, 2021

Safety Wank

The act of masturbation prior to a sexual encounter, used to prolong intercourse.

Person 1: "Brooooo, I'm hooking up with Amy tonight!"
Person 2: "Oh nice dude, she's so hot!"
Person 1: "Tell me about it, I'm going to need a quick safety wank before going to her place."

by BicBoi4000 August 27, 2021

wanking the gank

The act of stimulating the penis with your hand to achieve ejaculation; Male masturbation.

Commonly performed while viewing the pornography of MILFs.

Me: Hey man you see that new Lisa Ann vid on the Hub?
Friend: Hell ya bro I’m wanking the gank to it as we speak!

by The Don 1846 August 31, 2021

Crab-Wank

To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.

Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.

Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…

by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021