When you treat the relationship between your girlfriend wayyy to seriously, and your friends genuinely think you have a death pact if she ever leaves you.
Nick: 'Who's that chick Charlie's with?'
Ash: 'She's the girl he's been apocalypsing about since he met her the other week'
Nick: 'Fucking simp.'
One of the most special suburbs in all of Perth. A place where if you don't get hit by one of the many hoons, you'll be bashed by the year 7 eshays who are offended by your mere presence.
Once started to accommodate families looking for a nice little house to live in, has since been turned into 'OI LAD's paradise. Butler is among the CRAB group (Clarkson, Ridgewood, Alkimos & Butler Gang). There is a 400% chance you'll come across one of their infamous tags on a pine tree in the park or near the wonderful high school.
If you're lucky enough, you can move close to the train station and the wonderful Butler hub... 7/11. If you visit at the right time (which is usually any time), you can easily find one of the special eshays, and there is a high chance they'll abuse the shit out of you. If you're super lucky, they might spit on you.
Aayden: 'Bruva, look somebody's tagged the tree with CRABS'
Diesel: 'Probably a fucking Butler eshay'
Aayden: 'A what?'
Diesel: *relieves painful WWII-like memories of the suburb*
Don't even get my started on this suburb.
The eshays in this suburb are next level 'mad cunt'. Just one side glance and they're beat the living shit out of you, and then steal some shoes from the shopping centre. The eshays here are so next level, they aren't even scared of the police station down the road.
Aside from the eshays, the bogans here are also next level. They like the take matters into their own hands, and become the police, you think you can do burnouts in their streets? Ha... you can.
But break into their houses, and they're fucking stab you in the face and eat you alive. They're like that sometimes... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Never get on a bus there either by the way, there is a 45% chance you'll sit on an unborn child... if ya know what I mean.
'Goddamit the eshays are in Clarkson again'
'YOU GOT THESE IN A SIZE 10 BRUAH?'
A very snobby suburb, known by most as Min-fucking-darie. There are plenty of self-entitled, snooty bitches who enjoy their meals at their marina, and arrogant titfaced men riding their boats around trying to impress the snooty bitches there because they suffer from a micropenis.
A vey hilly suburb, with some expensive af houses. You will never get hit by a Toyota in this suburb, mostly because they don't know what broke looks like. Probably don't even know what a BMW is, these people ride in style in their blacked out Range Rovers.
Everybody has money in this suburb, and they're very afraid to spend it. But that's okay, because every year, the people come together on their 90th story balcony and watch the New Years Eve fireworks and hope one doesn't come flying towards their fat, fucking face and broke their glass of champagne.
Highly recommend going to one of the firework shows, you might watch David get glassed.
Rich bitch: 'Get outta here, you're too poor for this suburb'
Rich bith: 'That's Mindarie to you!'
Gets ran over by an Aventador:
Ah yes, everybody knows this place if you're a true blue Perfian.
Though you would expect this coastal suburb of Perth to be made of mostly rocks, it is actually very hilly, and very ugly, unless you manage to find Ocean Drive, where if you don't get hit by a car, the beach erosion will wash you out to see and probably kill you.
Everybody's house looks like shit around there, and it is rare to find a house that looks noice.
Might even suggest they smoke bongs around there.
Let us not even forget the private school on the corner of Marmion Avenue, everybody knows what they're like.
'Oi cunt, where'd you put Russo?'
'Fuckn punched him cold and pushed him down Mindarie Drive'
'Fuckn love Quinns Rocks'
One of the British people's favourite places on Earth.
Even though Australia should be made up of mostly Australians, the interesting suburb called Jindalee, is mostly full of poms, and young people who are wayyy to privileged.
There is a 90% chance of running into a young person racing down the main boulevard in their "souped up" Skyline.
There is a 900% chance of running into a 99 year old grandma who offers you unsolicited life advice.
And a 9000% chance of running into a self-entitled pom who doesn't like that your cabbage toes touched his front lawn.
Nothing quite compares however to the beach, one of the only places that you're unlikely to be spoken to, probably a good place to bang somebody in the dunes.
'Yo Ollie, did you fuck Sheila?'
'Fuck yea Billy, went down on her behind the dunes in Jindalee'