A person (typically a family member) that calls you right before you ejaculate, messing up your rhythm and taking you out of the zone
Last night I was in the middle of a great jerk off session until my great grandma phoned me. She is such a wank fiend
by Dr. Schmedt May 18, 2018
Get the Wank Fiend mug.The act of stimulating the penis with your hand to achieve ejaculation; Male masturbation.
Commonly performed while viewing the pornography of MILFs.
Commonly performed while viewing the pornography of MILFs.
Me: Hey man you see that new Lisa Ann vid on the Hub?
Friend: Hell ya bro I’m wanking the gank to it as we speak!
Friend: Hell ya bro I’m wanking the gank to it as we speak!
by The Don 1846 August 31, 2021
Get the wanking the gank mug.The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.
by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017
Get the Bridge Wank mug.Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.
by Theilliterate June 28, 2023
Get the Allegorical Wank mug.A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.
With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.
by J. Domain February 26, 2021
Get the Throwback wank mug.When you walk with both hands in your pockets and leaned back due to the weight of the greasy pony tail
by Srdjan69 October 19, 2020
Get the wank walk mug.To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021
Get the Crab-Wank mug.