Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.

Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"

by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019

Redneck Jesus

The nickname NASCAR gaming YouTuber Michael Mrucz uses for NASCAR Hall of Famer: Dale Earnhardt Jr in his videos. Sometimes also called “BOYYY” in his skit shorts by his father, corresponding with Jr calling his father “DAAAAD” in the skits

“REDNECK JESUSSSSS! Who the hell’s team is he on?”
-Michael Mrucz on YouTube

by The Only Cody Ware Superfan September 11, 2022

smoke Jesus

A joint rolled with a piece of paper from the Bible and the filter is a thicker piece of paper also from the Bible.

Or a joint or two that have the form of a cross.

Don’t just smoke weed smoke JESUS

by Jxhnny_Gxddamn August 6, 2019

Jesus Feet

When one's feet are super dirty from walking without shoes or socks. Much like Jesus' feet would have been.

"Dude. You have such Jesus feet right now. Clean yourself up, and put on shoes!"

by Steve Primanti August 25, 2014

Jesus-fuck

The prime expletive, to be used only by asskickers or in dire situations.

Jeff did my mom? JESUS-FUCK!!

by Philbert_McGee June 12, 2018

Jesus queef

The holy queef. The expulsion of holy water from jesus’ pussy.

Oh my that was quite the holy queef. One could say its a jesus queef.

by TheRealModernDayShakespeare281 March 30, 2022

Sex jesus

Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.

“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”

by Havesafesex April 14, 2022