porcelain artist

Some who takes pride in the aftermath of extreme and explosive diarrhea.

Bob: God damn Tom! You splatter blasted the hell out of the toliet. It's a real disaster zone!

Tom: I know I'm a porcelain artist! I'll be posting that on ratemypoo.com.

by Bob Buckland February 4, 2009

Porcelain Cruise

When one does his/her business on a toilet, often taking quite long.

Guy 1 walks into washroom: It smells horrible in here!

Guy 2: Sorry, I just took a porcelain cruise.

by Alex CK September 24, 2008

Porcelain Surprise

When taking a shit, a Porcelain Suprise is when the first nugget you drop splashes water back up and hits you in the asshole.

"OH GOD! I just got a Porcelain Surprise!"

by STEW POT November 7, 2006

porcelain slammer

when a chick is throwing up bent over the toilet, the man comes up from behind her and throws it in-- hopefully causing the girl's head to slam into the back of the john.

dude, i caught my girlfriend booting last night, so i gave her the porcelain slammer.

by Markoo420 September 25, 2006

Porcelain Goddess

A sex position in which the male sits on the toilet with legs spread and the girl sits on top of his dick and basically rides him. Perfect position for your girl if she wants to try topping and is usually comfortable for both parties, legs may get sore but it's an added bonus workout, it's an easy position!

Guy 1: omg i can't believe you let her top you!
Guy 2: what, she wanted to practice, it was just the Porcelain Goddess...

by Waifu!~ April 19, 2022

Porcelain Shrubbery

A small area of pubic hair that sometimes can be found laying on the outer rim of any given toilet.

"I gotta piss man."
"Dude make sure to watch out for the porcelain shrubbery."

"Buy Oxy-clean! The fastest cleaning agent for your bathroom. Gets off even the sketchiest shrubbery!"

by ShredHeadGent July 22, 2009

Porcelain Pastry

when someone takes a mean dump, preferably at a bakery and forgets to flush on purpose. leaving the turds "pasteries" in there for the next unlucky users enjoyment.

i went to take a shit at the local bakery and as i opened the toilet seat i gawked at the porcelain pastry someone had left for me.

by BROSKIxSCALLOPS May 9, 2012