Stallone's Law 

Pronunciation: \ˈstä-lōnes\ \'lo\
Function: noun

A law of physics, (not unlike Murphy's Law), stating that in the event a main character is being shot at by any amount of bad guys, the main character has a better chance of killing all the bad guys than the bad guys have of killing him.

Friend: "That guy just killed like 50 people! How did he do that?"

You: "Stallone's Law."

Stallone's Law by Dr, No. April 17, 2010

Ruschmann's Law 

Named after Henry Ruschmann, the inventor of glitter, stating that if glitter is present, it will inevitably get EVERYWHERE.

Why is there glitter in my microwave?

Ruschmann's Law man, Ruschmann's Law.

Ruschmann's Law by thegnome6631 November 14, 2010

Wang's Law 

A scientific principle that states that anything longer than it is wide can be considered a phallic symbol. Originated by Professor D. Wang

Person A: Do you notice anything kind of suggestive about these breadsticks?

Person B: Wang's Law, man

Wang's Law by MISTER OWNINATOR December 26, 2010

Bob's Law 

A person that misquotes and makes up their own laws as they go.

My neighbor said I needed a permit to barbecue on my own property; I guess it's a new Bob's Law !

Bob's Law by karmagotcha June 3, 2018

Aaron's Law 

According the Aaron's law: Anything requiring progression or placement of any kind, that has not been attempted in any way to move one's placement down or up, defaults at nothing but the perception of the individual, who under most circumstances would state they are better than anyone, even if that's not feasibly possible, even though it remains true based on science.

Person 1: Yooo! I got a 12.5K/D ratio in that COD game! lets goooo!
Person 2: I didn't even play the game, therefore I am at the top of the leader boards and have an infinite K/D ratio.
Person 1: Fuck you, I hate Aaron's law.

Aaron's Law by 2 time champion of virgin September 1, 2020

Worthington's Law 

More money = better than. A rather fail safe way to gauge the value of human worth.

Carl Espick, econmist and editor of Value Magazine-
Did you know that, according to Worthington's Law, the opera singer who called himself, 'The Great Caruso' was nowhere near as great as Sammy Hagar, The Red Rocker? So shut up, Caruso! Hey! Who's greater than Saint Francis of Assisi? How about, uh, Darryl Strawberry? See ya later, Saint Frannie, ya schmuck. Hey, guess who's better than Van Gogh. Let's see, after adjusting for inflation... almost everybody! He made nothing!"

Random Mechanic-
So that means that I'm better than Van Gogh and Galileo put together!

Espick-
And I'm better than you, brainiac.

Worthington's Law by melissa hates dolphins September 4, 2006

Popehat's Law of Goats 

He who fucks goats, either as part of a performance or to troll those he deems has overly delicate sensibilities is simply, a goatfucker.

He claimed he was just pretending to be racist to trigger the social justice warriors, but even if he is telling the truth, Popehat's Law of Goats still applies.

Popehat's Law of Goats by JamesR86 January 20, 2020