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Grandma's Peaches

Small, round breasts of an elderly female. Like overly ripe peaches, they are soft and the skin is shriveled and wrinkled.
Roger always enjoyed granny porn. He couldn't get enough of Grandma's Peaches.
by Eaton Holgoode March 5, 2015
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Grandmaster Jonathan Makiling Abaya

Grandmaster Jonathan Makiling Abaya is the founder and originator of Jendo Filipino Martial Arts based on his own concept and principles called - "Tri-Force" or the "Tatlong Lakas".
Grandmaster Jonathan Makiling Abaya founded Jendo in Mandaluyong City in 1973.
by Teresita I. Biscaro April 7, 2008
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Taking Grandma to Applebees

Vague sexual euphemism for the act of soaking your hand in water until it becomes wrinkly, and then manipulating your rectum. Popular among an extremely small segment of late night television viewers.
Conan's been in the tub all morning. Last time he did this I caught him taking Grandma to Applebees. I hope he at least trimmed his fingernails first this time.
by Rex Acren November 11, 2010
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Danish grandma

A pseudo-sexual act in which the male (ideally one that is vertically endowed, with large hands) straddles the female whilst stretching the scrotal epidermis over his clog wearing partner's forehead. The ideal effect is such that the female appears grandmother like, due to her new wrinkly, veiny forehead.
"My girlfriend just came home with a pair of clogs, I fear she may want to perform the Danish grandma."
by Beer Sailor December 5, 2009
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Grandma's Tea Towel

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag. The primary difference is that Grandma's Tea Towel is used exclusively by promiscuous females over the age of 60 to clean up semen and vaginal juices from sexual activity. Grandma's Tea Towels are most commonly found underneath Craftmatic Adjustable Beds and under Electric Function and Electric Assist beds found in Assisted Living Facilities throughout the country.
Nurse Sandy: Mary, will you please call Housekeeping and have them do a laundry sweep down the West wing?
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.
by Eaton Holgoode May 13, 2014
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Call my grandma

I'll be back in a couple minutes, I just need to call my grandma
by serum114 October 31, 2010
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On My Grandma!!

When you run out of things or people to swear upon. In other words, When you know you're lying but you already put it on God, Your Momma, Yourself, Your Soul, Your Dad, Your Gang and all you have left is your grandma. Poor Grandma, I bet you are scared of putting it on her, because you still live with her.
Bruh! Hey Bruh! I have 20 Flat Screen TV's and 3 Lamborghinis, we is Lottery world champions, on my Grandma!!
by The_Bambino_88 November 6, 2019
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