Smochină Smooch Scale

First-known documented scale by an Eastern Bloc author (Nichita Smochină of Moldavia) created for men and women courting one another to rate flirting and kissing on a scale of 1 to 9 (Communist belief did not allow for a 10). The original scale was published in 1930 by Smochină's in the anthology, Cunoștințe Utile ("Useful Knowledge").

As the story goes, Smochină was in Paris at the time, and met a young woman who simply could not flirt or kiss. When he tried to explain to his friends how poorly this woman communicated and later smooched, there was simply no language for explaining this problem. That night, Smochină created the famous Smochină Smooch Scale in one draft. Many say he was divinely inspired.

The rating for #1 took off and gained quite a bit of fame internationally. In its original form, it was "Ăsta se sărută ca o sardină rece de la Marea Neagră" (This one kisses like a cold sardine from the Black Sea.) By the time is was used in speakeasies in Chicago, it had been notably shortened to "Ca un peşte rece" (Like a cold fish).
"So, Fred, tell us. How does she rate on the Smochină Smooch Scale?"
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Eskimo Dookie Smooch

The sensual act of gently rubbing ones nose, back and forth on the anus of another.
Do anything kinky lately?

Sure did. I gave my girl an Eskimo Dookie Smooch as I was eating her out from behind.
by Toilet Thinker October 29, 2020
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National Smooch Day

National Smooch Day is September 20. This day is dedicated to giving out a kiss to someone, whether satirical platonic or romantic.
"Hey, it's National Smooch Day!"
by anonbandit September 20, 2022
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Chocolate Smooch

When there's a little bit of shit on someone's asshole hair, but you're trooper and eat their ass anyway.
"Dude, last night I gave Sasha a chocolate smooch!"
"Nice!"
by Gordoncheese March 28, 2018
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Paulie smooch

When in a sexual act ,a male or female sucks on hemorrhoid and leaves a hickey on it
Paulie smooch-Sucking on a hemorrhoid
by Paul the smooch October 27, 2020
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smooch face

A face you REALLY wanna smooch!
Calvin asked Hobbes if it was strange that he thought Susie Derkins had a Smooch Face.
by VSmooch February 05, 2018
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Smooch

A girl that only sucks dick and doesn’t get anything in return
by K.G.A October 23, 2022
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