Scottish Haircut

The result of losing some of your hair after a bullet goes through your hair but narrowly misses your head.

Good thing that sniper had terrible aim he merely gave me a scottish haircut.

by horny4alligators September 11, 2010

Scottish Pinch

A man with Scottish Pinch refers to a person who has a large penis and killer swag.

“Wow! Jordan’s so cool! That dude definitely has a Scottish pinch!”

“Kyle absolutely FUCKS. Buddy has a Scottish pinch.”

by KillerKFarren May 10, 2020

scottish teabag

A sex position where the woman does a headstand and the man stands over her, holding her pussylips open and gently dips his testicles in and out.

Hey Peter whats the freakiest tging you've done in bed?

Last night I gave my girl the scottish teabag.

by DaAraric September 1, 2019

Scottish Bagpipe

The act of ejaculating into a bagpipe and shoving it down a woman's esophagus or anal cavity with great force while attempting to play a song on the instrument.

Sarah: You know that new Scottish kid? He Scottish Bagpiped me SO hard last night.
Jessica: Oh my god yah, he Scottish bagpiped me in the ass!
Sarah: The weird thing was he actually played a song too.
Jessica: Ya he's a dirty fuck if you ask me.

by xXx_Nut_Meme_xXx November 30, 2016

Scottish Finger

When you stick your thumb in a girl's arse whilst eating her out her cunny and squeeze one of her hooters with your free hand as if you were playing the bagpipes.

I gave that sweet lassie's teet such a firm squeeze while performing the Scottish Finger that Lord William Wallace, himself, would have heard her scream.

by Buttsecks4Ever! August 29, 2010

Scottish Turner

The affliction, most commonly manifest in drunken English people, that has the effect of making its sufferers speak in a scottish accent/dialect. After one too many pints of guest ale (usually titled Highland Fling or Glasgow Kiss etc) the Scottish turner starts by addressing everyone as Jimmy before sliding headlong into indecipherable (even to real Scots) gorbals. Will often end up staggering round the bar with a broken pint glass whilst attempting to headbutt sundry drinkers who've done nothing wrong. Is often ejected without difficulty and told to fuck off back to the Scotland from whence he never came.

English drinker: I say, did you see the Chelsea game last Tuesday?
Scottish Turner : See you, Jemmy...Yis're gunni git this up yis...yis fuckin bassad...Mon then, ya fuckin cunt yis...I wis born i'fuckin Glasgi.

by Lord Foreskin December 29, 2008

Scottish smokescreen

When a large, red-haired man - preferably Scottish in heritage - pretends to perform oral sex on a woman but only uses his fingers and makes licking noises with his mouth. Similar to Fake chow.

How come Doug's beard doesn't smell like poonanny after he eats out his girlfriend, Kittie everynight?

Easy. He gives her the old Scottish smokescreen

by Horis Bybrinski September 12, 2011