if she were naughty, I would spank her

Phrase most popular in the late 90s and early 2000s; guys would say this to each other to express that a woman was physically attractive. Rarely used nowadays, and even then only by people 30-50 yrs old.

"Hey, John. Do you think Jane at Sam Goody is cute?"
"G'yeah... if she were naughty, I would spank her."

by The Rev NG8 August 5, 2018

If Two of You Agree

The promise to believers in Mathew 18:19 that if two of them on earth agree about anything they ask for, God the Father in heaven will grant it to them in the name of Jesus Christ—when God’s promise or miracle (breakthrough, deliverance, healing, …) is activated by a pray-er’s “Yes” with another faith partner’s “Amen,” because there is divine power in agreement.

God’s ABC formula of “If Two of You Agree” is: “Believe + Agree = Come.”

by MathPlus October 28, 2021

If you know what I mean

A common phrase, that if added to the end of any simple sentance, can make it sound dirty.

I'm gonna go scuba diving tonight, if you know what I mean.

I'm gonna make the bed, if you know what I mean.

We paid the bills the other day, if you know what I mean.

by Samantha May 9, 2004

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade

An expression that can be used to emphasize (1) badass skills, (2) proper resource use, and even (3)approval!

1

Manny's Bro: Manny, you're a damn player. How do you get all those chicks?

Manny: What can I say? If life gives you lemons, make lemonade

2
A construction worker: Holly shit! We have to build a skyscrapper with only ten bricks, a hammer, and a door knob?

Jose: Easy, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

A construction worker: But don't expect fucking miracles either!

3
Island Guy: Oh Man, I wish there was at least one chick in this small crappy Island that was not my cousin.

Man: Hey Island Guy, Effit! If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

by PokarFace June 20, 2010

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land

I stole this from Bo burnham

Bo burnham: I’m so hashtag deep
Me: what a lit song

Bo: if Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Me: imma steal that and post it on urban dictionary

by Karen Chungus February 7, 2019

if there's hair... i'm there

a variation to "if there's grass on the field play ball."

Jim: Hey man, what do you think about the new crop of freshmen girls? They're looking younger every year.

Howie: Sheeit, fool. If there's hair... I'm there!

by money shots May 16, 2008

If I was your vampire

awesome song by the king of his silver wardrobe, misunderstood world of furniture polish and cold velvet, Marilyn Manson. DO NOT FUCKING RELATE IT TO TWILIGHT.

6 AM, christmas morning, no shadows no reflections here, lying cheek to cheek in your cold embrace... LOOK UP If I was Your Vampire by Marilyn Manson on youtube. You won't regret it, I swear.

by THE REAL Grungegirl August 9, 2009