Jetbridge Jesus

The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.

Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.

Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!

Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!

by Kronl January 5, 2023

finding jesus

A abosolutely hilarious ripoff of finding Nemo. just look at the damn front cover y'all.

AYO IS THAT FINDING JESUS?!

by G520 April 24, 2023

Jesus Pimple

A Pimple which comes back a few days later after it is popped.

Dude, the pimple I popped three days ago has come back to life. Damn, Jesus Pimple.

by Jireh July 25, 2012

Jesus straps

"hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")

these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)

the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!

be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !

when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !

what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!

by michael foolsley April 14, 2022

Geneva Jesus

Forgives the sins of War criminals, so they may commit war crimes without prosecution and return to Valhalla. Civilians will now be known as "Acceptable Casualties".

Also the leader of the "Geneva Warcriminals" gaming clan on Twitch and Mixer.

"Geneva Jesus shall set me free, for I am his humble servant." GJ 6:9

by Geneva Jesus November 13, 2019

jesus cut

Serving yourself a torn apart piece is bread from a larger serving. Much like Jesus would have cut the bread at the last serving, just tear what you want.

I took a jesus cut from th loaf of bread our server brought to our table, forget knives.

by the timio March 17, 2015

Jesus Kill

Usually in an FPS game where the player gets an insane kill out of skill or pure luck

guy 1: Dude i was playing halo the other day and got a sick kill when one of my bullets bounced off a rock and hit someone
guy 2: dude! thats a jesus kill if i ever heard one!

by OddThomas June 29, 2011