I can't believe the way that guy is acting. He's gotta be the biggest douche I've ever seen.. In fact He's a douche whale.
by image969 January 8, 2009

Sub species of river roach, in the megawhore family. Just like a river roach, the river whale can be found floating on America's waterways in summertime, sleeping with anything with three legs. However, the river whale does not need an innertube or raft, as she is so morbidly obese as to act as her own buoy. May be found in bikini tops 4 sizes too small.
Datum, look at the water glistening off that river whale. Hope she doesn't run aground in the shallows!
by Midwest Transplant July 6, 2018

by Enter Your Pseudonym Here September 30, 2021

by lhtop July 9, 2016

by Arse eater November 24, 2023

The Pignika Coke Whale, scientifically known as 'Cokus Pignikus' is a remarkable obese marine mammal that inhabits the coken jungle in which it very often consumes the native coca plant leaves. The pignika coke whale is a massive creature, measuring up to 98 feet in circumference, its rotund body is reminiscent of a bloated barrel. Its age is a point of concern, standing at 42 whole years, it's considered ancient among its species.
Person 1: "What is that gigantic thing in the zoo???"
Person 2: "Oh, nothing alarming, that's just the pignika coke whale"
Person 2: "Oh, nothing alarming, that's just the pignika coke whale"
by Cupcakke'sPubicHair December 18, 2024
