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"Septum Theory" Theory

A dismissive phrase invented as a lazy insult toward women with septum rings. It’s most often used when the person insulting can’t actually respond to what a woman with a septum piercing is saying — so instead of addressing her point, they reduce her to her jewelry.

It’s not really a “theory” at all — it’s a cop-out comeback.

People lean on “Septum Theory” when they’re out of arguments, turning someone’s appearance into the debate itself.
Her: “That’s actually factually incorrect, here’s the source.”

Him: “Uhh… Septum Theory.”

Translation: “I don’t have a real argument, so I’ll just insult your piercing.”

Her: Says anything that goes against men in general

Him: Septum theory strikes again.

Translation: I have no argument.

Aka "Septum Theory" Theory. The theory that men will find anything they can to try an degrade a woman, logical or not.
by txxxxx September 23, 2025
mugGet the "Septum Theory" Theorymug.

Phonetic Temperature Theory

the Phonetic Temperature Theory is a theory that states that as average temperature of a native speaker's location decreases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words decreases, and that speech quickens and hardens in colder temperature. Secondly, This theory also states the vice versa; as average temperature of a native speaker's location increases over a long span of time, the verb-consonant ratio of the native speaker's words increases, and that speech slows and smooth-ens in warmer temperature. Thirdly, this theory also states that pronunciation changes quicker when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes quicker, and that pronunciation changes slower when the average temperature of a native speaker's location changes slower.
Person 1: How can I predict when the pronunciation of a word will change?
Person 2: with Phonetic Temperature Theory, we can do this by 1. knowing how long the current pronunciation has existed for, 2. knowing the differences in local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage to now, 3. knowing previous pronunciation of the preceding form of the word, and using IPA slope to predict future pronunciation and use multiplication (local average temperature now - local average temperature at the beginning of pronunciation usage)/(time between beginning of pronunciation usage and now), if the value is positive (meaning the local temperature got warmer) then shift clockwise on the IPA chart (k -> g), this is the reasoning for why Latin "catta" became "gato" because the Spanish/Portuguese climates are slightly warmer than the Ancient Roman climate.
by hgjfsklvmjfghbugdsfkc November 27, 2023
mugGet the Phonetic Temperature Theorymug.

Critical republican theory

Critical republican theory is to take anything considered woke and assume people of color to blame and indoctrinate children when in reality the Republicans are just racist
Matt walsh had a critical republican theory that schools teaching about race is making him look bad so he got upset and cried over woke media
by ancientalienrockdweller December 4, 2021
mugGet the Critical republican theorymug.

Dead Internet Theory

Everything online right now is fake. Algorithmic curation, bot activity, filters and AI generated content. Are you communicating with a real person or code?
The Internet died years ago but nobody noticed, Dead Internet Theory is real...
by Nukem6 May 4, 2024
mugGet the Dead Internet Theorymug.

Wilt Theory

"Wilt Theory": the idea that decay, deterioration, or emotional exhaustion follows a predictable or inevitable pattern.

It is often used to describe recurring patterns of low mental health, and originates from a comparison between wilting flowers and poor mental health.
Person 1: "I don’t know, I’ve been feeling really off again. Like, I’ll have a few good days and then suddenly everything crashes. It’s like clockwork."
Person 2: "Sounds like Wilt Theory to me."
by ennojohan_music June 13, 2025
mugGet the Wilt Theorymug.

neat theory

Um... Miss Tillman.
Paul Young's been missing for a couple of days. Have you seen him?
Why ask me?
I saw him leave a box on your doorstep.
And I've seen Zach over here.
If I did know where Mr. Young was, why would I tell you?
Look, the police think I killed your sister and I'm sure you do too. But I had nothing to do with it.
And you think Paul Young did.
Well... No, that's not what I was saying.
You gotta admit, it's a neat theory.
by weeknew September 13, 2018
mugGet the neat theorymug.

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