spite wank

When you get called a simp and are told not to jack it so you wank it in {spite} of the person.

She called me a simp so I pulled a spite wank later that night.

by Alb3rt5 May 27, 2020

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terrorism wank

When you haven't fapped for more than a week and finally nut shouting: 'allahu akbar' as you cum

I haven't fapped for 2 weeks and just had a terrorism wank, yeah my jizz can take down buildings

by Captain of The SS September 04, 2017

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micro wank

When you wanna climax but you don't have time to do the whole 45 minute shit. Feels fucking amazing, not recommended for the asthmatic community, and usually leaves you with a blister.

Pornhub: Ah neigh whinnymwinny, tu whit to woo, oink~twas brillig, coo coo, get on the washing machine, awhahahhahhhahhahhhhhh
Me: Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squirt heavy breathing.

That was a good little micro wank

by cancerisnotaverygoodthing February 02, 2017

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Wank ear

The heightened sense of hearing a young man develops when he masturbate in a house with other people. Despite masturbating he intensely listens for anybody approaching his location so he has ample time to hide his penis, clean up his immediate environment, and maybe hide any pornography he might be using.

Aw man, since moving back home I had to sharpen up my wank ear.

My wife doesn't knock when I shower, better use my wank ear when I rub one out.

by munky82 December 13, 2017

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Wank Rash

Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.

Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”

by skinnotheskank May 20, 2022

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