Two Ton Paperweight

a 4000 pound piece of shit car referenced on Psychostick's cd "We Couldn't Think of a Title"

My Two Ton Paperweight always dies.

by Chris Matlock September 09, 2007

Two-way street

drinking an alcoholic drink, while a soaked tampon (with the same alcohol), is up your rear end.

Kendall: “Hey madi, why are you in such a good mood?”

Madi: “Because, I’m doing a two-way street”

by February 16, 2021

Granny Two Shoes

An outspoken often times rude grandmother. Usually with grey / white hair which is cut very short like a man's. Their facial appearence is often ugly refered to as a, "mug". Usually their marriages are still intact over many years, however there is no, "love" instead there is hatred and contempt for their partner. They often demand people serve them like royalty and often times carry grudges over their entire lifetime. They often make impulsive and irrational decisions based on emotion and distorted facts. There is a high concentration of these types in southwest Florida.

The granny two shoes next door drove over and destroyed my mail box with her cadillac! When I asked what happened she said it was my fault! Granny two shoes also said, "....my jerk husband is still alive damnit!"

by Papertowel9999 April 07, 2011

two-headed monster

A two headed dildo that bitches be grinding on simultaneously.

Those white bitches in Requiem For A Dream were taking that two-headed monster so hard there pussies were touching.

by Rolexxx March 06, 2010

Two-Week Troll

n: an online chatterer who is interested, intense and intriguing that, without explanation, abruptly ceases contact after a period of 14 days.

"i thought this guy was the real deal, but he was just a two-week troll."

by little.d February 05, 2010

two finger scoop

When you use your two fingers to wipe when you're all out of toilet paper.

"Man there was no toilet paper in the bathroom so I had to do the two finger scoop"

by 2 legit April 08, 2007

coffee and eggs for two

A ridiculous mandatory procedure passed down from management or another department which only serves to slow down communication or production.

Derived from an episode of Danger Man/ Secret Agent starring Patrick McGoohan in which two spies meet at a cafe and are forced to use the code phrases, "What'll we have, coffee and eggs for two?" with the response "Why not make it scrambled?" in spite of the fact that they know each other.

It is also sometimes shortened to "servings of coffee and eggs" if more than one procedure appears at a time.

I was late to the meeting because my report was stuck in coffee and eggs for two.

by Jen Minola July 13, 2005