The church can save this country

All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...

A muffin "The church can save this country!"

Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"

A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."

Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."

A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."

Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"

A muffin "Correct."

Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"

A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."

by Hym Iam March 29, 2024

real church

Any church that is homophobic, misogynist, and non-liturgical. Used almost exclusively to contrast conservative Christians from Progressive Christians.

"Your "priest" is a woman? That isn't a real church. "

"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."

"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."

by SapphicSelene April 5, 2024

The Church Of Sacred Unity

A location for 'Shanked' and 'Aordinary' to meet up for erotic-roleplay and go on dates. In other words, the church is just their personal dating sim.

God damn it, Lucile and Valencia are in the backrooms of the Church of Sacred Unity again.

by Rodent89 October 30, 2024

blue church syndrome

When you're visiting Bratislava, and you've seen all the popular attractions but somehow you forgot to check out the blue church and now you're haunted by a pastel colored regret. Symptoms include : FOMO, obsesively checking google street view photos, and brainwashing yourself into thinking it wasn't really worth it after all.

"I just got back from Bratislava, and while I saw all the main sights, I totally forgot the Blue Church. Now I've got a bad case of Blue Church Syndrome."

by glenpai November 29, 2024

Cain Church

Cain church is a 14 year old born march 28 2010 and lives in remsenburg-speonk new york. he is very jewish and gets made fun of every day for it. cain church was put on probation for three months for criminal mischief

“Cain church is a stupid jew”

by Cain Church December 5, 2024

Chris Church Maxing

Chris Chruch Maxing is when you wear a red nike tech for long periods of time

Damn twin ur chris church maxing

by Sigma skibidi goat February 4, 2025

OAP Church Thugs

A gang of elderly women, with big slab heads who bully others so that they are afraid to attend church functions. Intimidation tactics include slander, text messages sent to recipients either too early in the morning or too late at night to cause distress and sometimes outright shouting and shoving matches, always in view of the public in order to assert dominance.

"Margaret Beetson and crew are such OAP Church Thugs. They flat out refused to accept Barbara's cakes for the church bake-off comp.

by Poobody May 6, 2025