jesus cut

Serving yourself a torn apart piece is bread from a larger serving. Much like Jesus would have cut the bread at the last serving, just tear what you want.

I took a jesus cut from th loaf of bread our server brought to our table, forget knives.

by the timio March 17, 2015

Jesus Relationship

A relationship that begins around Christmas and New Year (often started with a drunken hookup at a party) and that dies around Easter. A Jesus Relationship is often between two people who are incompatible, and survives for a few months due to the heightened joy around the holiday season, but dies as the year progresses.

Dan: Me and Mary weren't compatible, we were doomed to a Jesus Relationship.
Fin: Was she super religious or something?
Dan: No, it was just destined to die within a few months.

by Savemebarry January 12, 2016

Geneva Jesus

Forgives the sins of War criminals, so they may commit war crimes without prosecution and return to Valhalla. Civilians will now be known as "Acceptable Casualties".

Also the leader of the "Geneva Warcriminals" gaming clan on Twitch and Mixer.

"Geneva Jesus shall set me free, for I am his humble servant." GJ 6:9

by Geneva Jesus November 13, 2019

Ruckus and Jesus

When your in the middle of fucking and realize that you are not holy and Jesus would not want you fucking for pleasure

Damn I was having the best sex of my life until I thought about Jesus. I guess I was hit with the Ruckus and Jesus

by Fidget spinner licker April 1, 2019

Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.

Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"

by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019

Kpop's Jesus

NamSeokJiChuus Chris is Goddess Jihyo's son.

It happened one day when the CEO of BlockBerry Creative, BigHit, YG and JYP had some hentai and then NamSeokJiChuus Chris was born. People say it's actually a shit by fans "a mix of names" BUT NO!!!

NamSeokJiChuus Chris said stan LOONA and Stray Kids

X: What is the most powerful thing in this world?

Me: Oh. It's Kpop's Jesus! NamSeokJiChuus Chris! Now stan loona

by Jinsoul is my waifu December 23, 2019

Vibing With Jesus

Getting high as shit and having a good time.

Me and the boys were just vibing with jesus.

by AYY ITS ME YOUR BROTHER! December 25, 2019