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can't listen to my dick anymore

The point in a man's life when he must make decisions using reason and logic; not go after every hot chick even though it feels natural.
Friend #1: OMG look at that latin chick - her body is banging - dude, she's checking you out, go initiate a good night ending.

Friend #2: She does have a sweet booty, but I can't listen to my dick anymore - I've got a girlfriend.
by Tedro357 April 13, 2009
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blowing smoke up my ass

to bullshit or lie, to tell a falsehood. originally comes from the era of snake-oil salesmen and traveling hucksters pandering cure-all ointments.

one said cure for many ailments (including constipation) was a "tobacco enema" in which the purveyor would literally blow smoke up the afflicted's rectum with a device created solely for this purpose. obviously people caught on soon enough, and figured out that tobacco enemas were embarrassing as well as useless.

as such, the phrase became the euphemism it is today for selling a line of nonsense to an otherwise naive or unsuspecting rube.
person 1: "did you know that recent studies show that rat feces are as effective as any available wrinkle cream on the market?"

person 2: "you're totally blowing smoke up my ass"
by waterbrother September 11, 2009
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Sounds like my prom date

A phrase used to add innuendo to a non-sexual comment.

It is very similar to "That's what she said", but offers even more options for use. Note that this is not a replacement for "That's what she said", but should be used when it makes more sense.

Also, high schoolers should be sure to not make your comment sound like you mean your real prom date. Like yo' mama jokes, and "That's what she said" it does not refer to a real person.
Jane: I can't believe we waited in line for an hour for that roller coaster. It finished so fast that I was disappointed.
Maude: Sounds like my prom date!

Biff: Man, that new lemon drink sure does go down easy.
Jeff: Sounds like my prom date!

Sally: You should check out the men's clothes on clearance at that store. When you walk in, on the left, they have a huge rack.
Bob: Sounds like my prom date!
by Atl Livin' May 25, 2010
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Sounds like my first time

"That's what he/she said." the phrase "sounds like my first time" can be used in lieu. By definition this refers to the first time one person has engaged in intercourse.
For example: "I don't understand why the packaging is so tight. (Referring to something non-sexual) " "Sounds like my first time."
by Jeff Deglow August 2, 2011
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get the fuck out my life

To go away n have nothin to do with me
by Samyullll September 3, 2017
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B my L on someone's T's

A quote in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall which means, Blow my Load on someone's Titties.
Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.
by Diego B May 23, 2008
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You're Sucking All My Bandwidth

When someone expects too much from someone else. Especially pointless things that take much effort.
Boss: "I want you to redesign all those graphics 2% smaller, and put the invoices in reverse alphabetical order and staple my agenda packets perfectly parallel to the top of the page, exactly 1/8" down, and blah, blah, blah"

Employee: "Boss-Dude....you're sucking all my bandwidth"
by PBay November 4, 2009
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