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gramp wank

masturbation session that goes on for so long that all enjoyment and horniness is eventually lost
Yeah I got home after ten JD and coke and had me a gramp wank
by userpthat December 5, 2016
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Crab-Wank

To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.

Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021
mugGet the Crab-Wankmug.

Danger wank

when you start wanking and shout to your mother to come to your room , and see if you can finish before she opens your bedroom door.
I'm so embarrassed, yesterday I failed at a danger wank.
by Dragon67 April 16, 2023
mugGet the Danger wankmug.

Memory Wanking

When you're horny as fuck and you don't have time to pull up any porn, so you just have to remember some porn you once watched
Beau: 'You took a while in there.'
Lachlan: 'Yeah I was memory wanking!'
Beau: 'Fuckin legend'
by Your Local Perth Guide July 19, 2021
mugGet the Memory Wankingmug.

Prison Wank

Exactly what it says on the tin. To masturbate whilst in prison.
Most criminals enjoy a good prison wank.
by TheFunnyGuy88 June 29, 2022
mugGet the Prison Wankmug.

Essex wank

Sitting at the toilet and having a shit, then in the same toilet sesh you have a wank
Dirty cunts been on the toilet for ages, bet he's having an Essex wank
by kirn October 22, 2017
mugGet the Essex wankmug.

Mossi Wank

While on the vinegar strokes, you scratch a mosquito bite to enhance orgasm.
I had a better orgasm when I scratched the mosquito bite on my arm. Mossi Wank
by Eddie Brezz June 24, 2023
mugGet the Mossi Wankmug.

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