Skip to main content

Bloody Astronaut's Helmet

An unraveled condom that is then inserted into a woman's vagina that is on the rag. After marinating in her discharge anywhere from 1-36 hours it is removed. The "astronaut" then blows it up and wears it over his head.
Peja: Hey Mills, did you hear about Hawks?

Mills: No, what did that freak do now?

Peja: Apparently the only way he can get off is when his girl is on her period and he performs the bloody astronaut's helmet.

Mills: That is so fucking hot....
by Shirtless Peja March 21, 2014
mugGet the Bloody Astronaut's Helmet mug.

shit on my helmet

When a man is performing anal sex and upon pulling out discovers there is shit caked under/around his penis head.
You need to flush out better next time... I've got shit on my helmet!
by Cooptastic November 20, 2015
mugGet the shit on my helmet mug.

johannes nyman helmerius

johannes nyman helmerius is the most awesome guy in the world. he is a god and he is the greatest pussyslayer in the world. everyone called johannes nyman helmerius is the best and he is the manliest, strongest, smartest, bravest, and coolest guy
by Johannes king March 18, 2017
mugGet the johannes nyman helmerius mug.

German Army Helmet

A gift you give to another person but really intend to use it or benefit from it yourself.
I got my husband a new lawn mower for Christmas, but it’s really a German army helmet. Now he’ll have to mow our lawn!

I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.
by kdawk August 3, 2018
mugGet the German Army Helmet mug.

Canadian battle helmet

The Canadian battle helmet is even more sought after than the Canadian belt buckle. It requires greater overall penis length, and fantastic fortitude.

Whereas the Canadian belt buckle requires simply exposing ones testicles (beautiful ones only), the Canadian battle helmet requires much more. To perform this, a males must takes his penis, wrap it around beneath his testicles and have it then drape over on top of the scrotum. This will now resemble a Trojan war helmet: the penis representing the nose guard, and the testicles the eye holes. To be truly successful, a man must use a “male landing strip” of pubic hair, more commonly known as a “genital Carlton”. I have NOT accomplished this task with the genital Carlton.
He totally showed her the Canadian battle helmet! Didn’t know he shaved like that!
by Shoguy32 July 5, 2021
mugGet the Canadian battle helmet mug.

Pork pie helmet

When you stand over a person who is sitting and stretch your scrotum across their forehead
And their she was sitting on the kitchen floor when I snuck up behind her and gave her a pork pie helmet
by THE IRON HIPPIE December 2, 2021
mugGet the Pork pie helmet mug.

Russian Heat Helmet

It is a combination between a Roman Soldier Helmet and a Heat Pump where in the midst of delivering a Roman Soldier Helmet the male takes either and accidental or purposeful shit on the victims forehead. Thus delivering a hot steamer on their face.
"Thank god we had a load of wet wipes in the next room over because after a few drinks my boyfriend got real wild and gave me A Russian Heat Helmet. It made quite the mess."
by Zeek Shop December 7, 2021
mugGet the Russian Heat Helmet mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email