Vance

When a colleague just randomly enters the conversation with a nonsensical statement.

JD was a total Vance today. He accused Zander in person of starting a fight with Victor when visiting Zander in hospital and then started yelling for Zander to apologise while Victor was next door having his broken hand treated.

by OZRA April 3, 2025

J.D. Vance

The couch humper who Donald Trump selected to be his running mate in the 2024 election.

Did you see the mascara running down the face of that couch humper J.D. Vance?

by Lynch/Fellini August 9, 2024

Vance

Vance (verb): To have carnal relations with an inanimate object, particularly furniture such as a couch or sectional.

I wouldn't sit there - John just vanced that chair.

Oh my God Becky, that guy is vancing in the Ikea showroom!

Bob, that couch is dead sexy. I want to vance it.

by MIR482 July 27, 2024

Vance

To have sexual relations with an inanimate object in a very precise, meticulous manner.

Phil don't need no girlfriend. He vances his roomba Friday nights. He only needs a blanket, a couple sandwich bags and a charged up roomba and and he's good for the weekend.

Motherf*cker vanced my vacuum cleaner last weekend and now the floor sweeper's all f*cked up.

by Corvid14 July 25, 2024

JD Vance Handshake

Involuntary euthanasia.

The Pope's life was ended by a JD Vance Handshake.

by Czech Hunter 1984 April 22, 2025

vancing

v. To fornicate with a seam, fold, or gap in a piece of furniture. Often couches, but settees, ottomans, or the occasional chaise lounge have been used.

No, James isn't allowed over at my grandma's anymore. We caught him vancing the loveseat when he thought we were picking up lunch.

by Polynym July 24, 2024

JD Vance

A man who will sacrifice any and all personal values for the sake of remaining relevant and popular.

Example: Calling someone “Americans Hitler” and “Cultural Heroine” only to then end up as their running mate and singing their high praises

Secondary definition: A dolphin and couch fucker

That person has no backbone, they were trying to get me fired and now they are sucking up to me since I’ve gotten a promotion. They’re such a “JD Vance”

by SZCY August 11, 2024