The Honest Politician

The Honest Politician is one who, when bought STAYS bought.

When asked whether by the CEO if the megacorp could count on Rep. Jones, the lobbyist said, "Yes, we put in $20 million to his warchest in the last 10 years and he's 'The Honest Politician.' He'll stay bought."

The Honest Politician by Lord Dragon, Grammar Nazi October 21, 2015

Schrodinger's politician 

Someone who changes their political beliefs based on who they are trolling.

He is such a Schrodinger's politician.

Schrodinger's politician by panda3xpress November 6, 2021

give birth to a politician

to have a bowel movement, to defecate

I'll be right back I have to give birth to a politician.

give birth to a politician by The Return of Light Joker December 9, 2009

Closet Politician 

Anyone who has political views and or opinions, but are too afraid to say what they think to remain neutral and avoid confrontation.

CNN Reporter: "What are your views on the Wall?"
Closet Politician: *Oh no, what should I say?* * If I tell CNN what I truly think, they will twist my words and I'll somehow end up on Top 10 worst criminals in the world.*
CNN Reporter: "Sir?"
Closet Politician: "Give me one second, I'm still thinking."
CNN Reporter: "It shouldn't be that difficult, it's not like I'm asking you to do a backflip?"
Closet Politician: "Did you just ask me to do a backflip?"
CNN Reporter: *Before reporter can get a word out*
Closet Politician: *Does backflip*

CNN Reporter: *Sighs and walks off, talking aloud to himself* " How are we going to make fake news if everyone is too afraid to tell us their political views, that is the fifteenth backflip someone has done today."

Closet Politician by Mr.TrollNDaNTaNet January 31, 2019

Facebook Politician 

One who gains all of their political knowledge from Facebook posts. Some from credible sources, but most are not and are only appealing to an uneducated person.

Person 1: "Did you hear that Obama is a Muslim terrorist?"

Person 2: "You must be a Facebook Politician. Get your information from a real news source and not your conservative uncle Jim."

Facebook Politician by Wizzil March 17, 2016

Instagram Politician 

Someone who posts or shares political posts on Instagram, often fake, wrong or out of context thinking they know the solutions to the worlds problems

Person 1: You see Lucy's post about Trump
Person 2: She's such a instagram politician. She isn't even American.

Instagram Politician by HelpMelton October 13, 2020

Irritable Politician Syndrome 

This is when you just want to live your life, but your politicians keep getting upset and making your life a living hell. This condition is similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Like Bowels, politicians always have shit coming out of their mouths. Substitute 'politician' for 'bowel' and you get IPS.

Worker #1:"I'm glad election year is passed. My IPS was about to drive me insane."

Worker #2:"Oh, yeah? You got Irritable Bowel Syndrome?"

Worker #1:"No. Irritable Politician Syndrome. Same symptoms, different assholes."

Irritable Politician Syndrome by IndependentForever November 3, 2009