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Crumpet Muncher

A female of the lesbian persuasion.
Also known as a dyke, lesbo, carpet-muncher, todger dodger, she who licks the honey pot.
Don't bother chatting her up Steve, I heard she's a crumpet muncher.
by HadeK September 11, 2013
mugGet the Crumpet Munchermug.

anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
mugGet the anal crumpetmug.

Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
mugGet the Bloody Crumpetmug.

Crumpet Baster

The performer of the art of basting crumpets such there are , were crumpet means snatch or pussy, applied by 'wisking' or gently oscillating fingeritively solids into liquids, thus creating a type of vacuum that no man can escape.
We have a cold newby in this porn scene....we will require our best crumpet baster to liquify the vaginal butter into a softy cream in the shortest amount of time....stat.
by Ball splat November 8, 2019
mugGet the Crumpet Bastermug.

slut crumpet

Guy 1: My mom's in the hospital because of the sex.
Guy 2: She's such a slut crumpet.
by Jhintop April 24, 2019
mugGet the slut crumpetmug.

Gravy Crumpet

A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.
Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.
by Legandor January 8, 2022
mugGet the Gravy Crumpetmug.

Soggy Crumpet

Another male masturbating game similar to soggy biscuit, but much worse as the target is now a crumpet (a much more absorbent vessel). Participants must circle jerk onto the crumpet. Whoever comes first is deemed the winner and the loser must eat the cum-loaded crumpet.
Soggy biscuit? That's nothing, try soggy crumpet!
by yoshi12 October 10, 2014
mugGet the Soggy Crumpetmug.

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