crap pockets

when your doing laundry and your jeans are full of things you've never seen before
crap pockets -
"hmm what's this ... this wasn't my fortune cookie slip ... how the hell?"
"hmm what's this ... a button in my pocket? ... how the hell?"
"hmm what's this ... $20!... oh wait ... it's one of those fake bills ... really?"
by BLAhaBLAha March 19, 2010
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Not Give a Crap

1. To not care at all about something; to have no opinion whatsoever about it. Often used dismissively in the negative to tell someone that what they are talking about has no relevance whatsoever to the listener.

2. A humorous way of saying you are constipated, and therefore "can't give a crap."
Boss: Dilbert, that is the dumbest idea you have come up with yet. I reject your proposal.
Dilbert: You never like any of my ideas. One of these days you're going to push me too far, and I'm going to quit.
Boss: Frankly, Dilbert, I do not give a crap.

Doctor: So, Bill, I understand you're constipated?
Bill: Yep, doc, I can't seem to pass those poops because they're just too big. I don't give a crap.
by Alligator King June 30, 2021
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start-crap

- dude, this project looks amazing!
- nah, it's another silicon valley start-crap
by stefan-the-master July 15, 2015
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Crap Daniels

The feeling (and exclamation) when you realize you've made a mistake or done something incredibly stupid, and get a drunk-dizzy feeling from the realization, much like taking a couple shots of Jack Daniels.
"Dude... You forgot your girlfriends birthday today.."

"Crap Daniels!!"
by wonderkind April 30, 2010
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ass crap wipe

the ass crap wipe is smelly like uranus. (read sentence out loud!)
by aye boii March 13, 2017
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Crap-path

When two friends start a conversation with both parties being fully aware of the falsity of their statements. The following exchange of words will typically be a hilarious and surreal exchange of related but obviously false claims. This dialogue of known lies ends when one of the friends points out that they are walking up, going up, or being led up the crap path. This is a good time to stop as continued crap path mileage usually results in the exchange getting beyond a joke and not being funny anymore.
"I got a lion in a toy shop once."
"What? A real one?"
"...yeah."
"Well where is it now then? In the cupboard?"
"Yep."
"Get it out then."
"He won't take guests after eight."
At the point when continuing would go beyond a joke, the conversation should climax with somebody saying or shouting "Crap-path" before the humour dies and it stops being funny.
by PiedPiperOfParty May 18, 2010
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Retard crap

The act of a retard pooping themselves and smearing it
by Funcky John June 23, 2022
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