toilet paper warden

A person (typically the leader of a sizeable household) that rations out bungwipe on an as-needed basis.
The need for toilet paper wardens became evident when the COVD-19 (coronavirus) pandemic of 2020 caused massive hoarding (and subsequent depletion) of rollios across the United States.

Kim has volunteered to become the toilet paper warden of the Trowbridge household because little Heidi upstairs has been going through massive amounts of paper toliets in attempts to grow algae and fungi in cups.

by Telephony March 26, 2020

Garland’s Law of Toilets

(1) In a bathroom, the least used and cleanest toilet will be the one that the eye travels to last.

(2) The cleanest toilet will never be the stall closest to the door, nor the one furthest from it, unless it is a stall handicap.

(3) The higher in elevation, the cleaner and less used the toilet.

“Bro, I can’t find a clean bathroom on campus...”

“Dude, just follow Garland’s Law of Toilets, the cleanest one is the third stall in the fourth floor library bathroom.”

by Dr. Toilet, Ph.D March 3, 2020

Toilet paper dick

When you’re cleaning jizz off of your penis and toilet paper gets stuck to yours dick

“Dude after I came to a picture of Miranda I gave myself toilet paper dick”

by A classy fellow June 6, 2020

deformed man's toilet

The official name for accessible toilets in China, translated literally from its original Chinese-language counterpart.

Kyle: Hey, I took this disabled guy into the deformed man's toilet yesterday.
Chris: Why are you calling accessible toilets that?
Kyle: Just because I want to. I love going to the bathroom in China.

by The Real Driller January 10, 2022

School toilet paper

A schools version of cardboard

Mom “why is your butt red”
Me “because I had to use school toilet paper”

by Hi peps March 29, 2021

toilet law firm

a law firm with less than 50 employees that pays its associates far below the market rate while practicing an area of the law with limited or no potential for upward mobility. such firms typically practice insurance law, especially its lower forms like "no fault" or "insurance fraud defense".

there are many toilet law firms in new york city, known for their dedication to providing cheap representation to insurance companies at the expense of quality work or decent pay.

by scottginsberg December 9, 2008

Toilet Paper Mobility

How accessible your toilet paper is. If the roll is off of the toilet paper holder it has high mobility; if it's connected to the holder it has very low mobility. Some people prefer not to put their toilet paper on the holder to have high toilet paper mobility.

I don't put my toilet paper on the holder so I can have high toilet paper mobility.

by Painey November 8, 2014