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close the register

a pleading to someone to cease using sarcasm or dry humor. Principly used when the third party fails to understand the joking nature. Originated in episode 3F07 ("Marge Be Not Proud") of The Simpsons, when Jeff Albertson (AKA Comic Book Guy) says to Bart "Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point..."
first guy: "...and the other gynocologist says "Fund us? We're lucky she doesn't sue us!"
second guy: "Uhhh, ok."
first guy: "Gynocolgist? Fund us? Fundus?"
second guy: "I don't get it."
third guy: "Oh, Jesus, Pete! Just close the register!"
by Awful Show Keyz September 21, 2008
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clitslap

The female equivalent of a cockslap.

Used by lesbians or gay men pretending to be lesbians.
I'm gonna clitslap you shetbag!
by The Lesbianic Mantra November 18, 2006
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Play me close

Dont ever bring your new girl around me. You better play me close.
by Thug Therapy June 21, 2020
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Closet Peacock

A person who is constantly advertising and praising his/her self by indirect means.

(Origin: "The Mind-Body Problem" by Rebecca Goldstein.)
She's an example of the more obnoxious sort of peacock: a closet peacock. Once you get the dictionary to her private language, you understand that everything she says translates into self-praise.

... Right now, she was complaining to me about the ENORMOUS size of her classes and her need to procure a second graduate student to help with the grading. Translation: "I'm such a POPULAR teacher."

(Mind-Body Problem, p. 236)
by PaleBlueYacht April 21, 2011
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closet game

A scandal involving intoxicated and/or horny losers who sit in a dark closet and touch each other. The game is played by each participant starting out in a corner of a small closet with the lights off. Each player counts to a previously agreed upon number and then slithers stealthily like a black belted ninja into a secret special spot within the closet. Then each player reaches out and feels for the nearest body part. All the participants take turns calling out which appendage they are touching and who it belongs to. The goal is to touch boobies or peni. The end. Good luck go getters!
Tiffany: Hi Mason, lets go play the closet game and make babies. Touch me Mason, touch me!

Mason: *turns off light* are you ready, Tiffany?

Tiffany: Yes. I'm ready. Take me as I am.

Mason: What are you?

Tiffany: A small whale. But that is why we turn off the lights. Touch me. I'm throbbing with passion. Touch me! Push my love button.
by Lakweefa March 4, 2009
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Too close

Steve: "Hey Brad wana go to the movies with Ashley and Kim tonight?"

Brad: "Sorry man that girl got too close for comfort last time"

Steve: "Yeah I know what you mean that girl can be a total bitch sometimes"
by TheRightLook December 22, 2008
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Closet Cheater

People that want to be good at a game so they have to cheat in order to get somewhere cause they suck ass without cheating.
"Zuiy you are such a closet cheater bro" "I have not cheated ever since ive been in the game"
by OppZone August 30, 2017
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