semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.

Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.

semi-pro football player by Ianfection January 20, 2009

cumpet player

A derogatory term used to leave a person confused and hurt.... The level of harsh-ness implied is left up to the individual using it.

Heather: Go add another STD to your list you cumpet player!
Rikkianne: *gasp* .....

cumpet player by Grandma B and Grandpa Gitt. July 7, 2008

controller player 74 

Guy who eats penis

Penis controller player 74

controller player 74 by What’s going guys September 13, 2020

Big City Player

(n.) An upper-middle class person, increasingly becoming female, although still vastly male, that is involved with huge monetary transactions and is known to frequent wine bars.

A big city player in his vintage Ferrari Daytona.

Big City Player by Gumba Gumba May 13, 2004

Power Player 

The illegal product infringing so many copyrights it ain't even funny. The product comes with a light-gun, a Sega Genesis controller, and an N64 controller. Plug it into your TV and be able to play dozens of pirated games. Don't get one.

I got a Power Player and now Nintendo sued me.

Power Player by The All-Knower December 28, 2004

record player 

when your in the movies and a dumb bitch is not giving what you came for you slowly move her hand right on top of your penis and she will do the rest.if she moves her hand away just dont talk to her for awile she see whos boss.

yo broske, i was at the movies with my bitch and i pulled the record player, she movied her hand back so i slaped her.

record player by Chris Calandra May 13, 2005

The Player's Jerk 

When a group of guys whack off at the same time to some kind of porno.

shit, jamaal you missed the players jerk last night. It was off da hook!

The Player's Jerk by Phat Pat October 13, 2003