by Chris C. September 16, 2018
Get the Lock Assmug. A common rent-seeking practice where vendors design structures and contracts to give them control of customer data and code.
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
Vendor Staff: "The regulators of First Common Bank found evidence of overcharging . First Common needs us to pull account numbers on which customers got hit. I wrote up the query and pulled the data while I was on the phone."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
by human-natured December 12, 2019
Get the vendor lock-inmug. by Harry Taint_209 May 12, 2024
Get the Hoe Lockmug. by Bartamuss August 16, 2024
Get the Gripper Lockmug. When somebody is so passionate, so focused, and so determined that they become more powerful than ever before. It can be dangerous but it is the only choice and must happen. Their bets become no-sweat winners. Their haters curse their name. They are locked in.
Holy fucking shit I think Big Daddy just locked in.
God this dude Choy hasn't locked in for months bro God.
God this dude Choy hasn't locked in for months bro God.
by yum27 January 21, 2022
Get the Locked Inmug. Bachelor Locked
(adjective)
When you’re too single to participate in something your friends are doing, too lazy to leave the house, or so wrapped up in your own personal bubble that you just drop “bachelor locked” as your all-purpose excuse. Usually means you stayed home doing nothing (or everything) without admitting it.
(adjective)
When you’re too single to participate in something your friends are doing, too lazy to leave the house, or so wrapped up in your own personal bubble that you just drop “bachelor locked” as your all-purpose excuse. Usually means you stayed home doing nothing (or everything) without admitting it.
“I couldn’t make it to the barbecue because I was bachelor locked.”
“Sorry I missed trivia, I was totally bachelor locked.”
“Yeah, I skipped the game—full bachelor locked mode.”
“They were all at the club, but I was bachelor locked.”
“I got bachelor locked instead of meeting them for dinner.”
(Translation you’ll never say out loud: sweatpants, snacks, and a deep commitment to not leaving the couch.)
“Sorry I missed trivia, I was totally bachelor locked.”
“Yeah, I skipped the game—full bachelor locked mode.”
“They were all at the club, but I was bachelor locked.”
“I got bachelor locked instead of meeting them for dinner.”
(Translation you’ll never say out loud: sweatpants, snacks, and a deep commitment to not leaving the couch.)
by funnywordle August 14, 2025
Get the Bachelor Lockedmug. When multiple people are chained together with a rusty lock and the only way to unlock the lock is using ejaculate to lube up the lock
by Jonnywoinkuz February 14, 2024
Get the Lithuanian Lock Pickmug.