by El Nk255 December 06, 2023
Moon gooning is an event similar to gooning but on a more spiritual level. Some have stated it is native American in origin but this has not been confirmed.
The event is attended by at least 10 people including a sworn priest and a licensed jelqer to watch over the participants to make sure they go down the safest path. The ritual starts by taking a 12 gauge and blowing the head off of the sacrificial Buffalo and all participants start to goon while basking In the moonlight, after the gooning is complete the participants are required to hunt an elk, skin said elk and hang its entrails on a tree and then continue to goon until sunrise, when dawn breaks the participants sit around the entrail tree and take peyote plants. And thus, the ritual is complete.
Any who learn of this ritual and do not participate in it are rumored to be hunted down by the spirits of the sacrificed bison and elk (plural).
Typical moon gooner gatherers wear native headressess and the skull of the bison that was sacrificed in the previous ritual and the first time initiates are required to wear a headress and skirt as they stand in the center of the moon gooner circle.
The event is attended by at least 10 people including a sworn priest and a licensed jelqer to watch over the participants to make sure they go down the safest path. The ritual starts by taking a 12 gauge and blowing the head off of the sacrificial Buffalo and all participants start to goon while basking In the moonlight, after the gooning is complete the participants are required to hunt an elk, skin said elk and hang its entrails on a tree and then continue to goon until sunrise, when dawn breaks the participants sit around the entrail tree and take peyote plants. And thus, the ritual is complete.
Any who learn of this ritual and do not participate in it are rumored to be hunted down by the spirits of the sacrificed bison and elk (plural).
Typical moon gooner gatherers wear native headressess and the skull of the bison that was sacrificed in the previous ritual and the first time initiates are required to wear a headress and skirt as they stand in the center of the moon gooner circle.
We're linking up with tucker Carlson and doing a moon gooning session this weekend bruh, you should join us.
by TheGuardian0376 November 18, 2023
I love edgemaxxing in my goon cruiser
by Mr. Glock August 21, 2024
A variation of Bosnian Flicker Gooning where one pays 3 or more Bosnian homeless men to continually smash the tip of your penis with a hammer until the atoms in the tip of your penis demolecularize and the individual atoms get split causing a nuclear fission reaction which then causes a nuclear explosion.
Did you know that the Chernobyl explosion was actually caused because an employee performed Atomic Bosnian Flicker Gooning.
by NeuralOwl12345 December 04, 2024
Usually a white male who acts in such a manner, he could easily be confused as an ignorant black male.
by naaat turner September 04, 2011
by Aaron Mesey January 14, 2022
The sacred art of flicking one's penis or clitoris between strokes or rubs, altering between flicks and rubs. This achieves a rhythm so divine that it promises a state of unparalleled pleasure. The term draws inspiration from the biblical promise of the land of Canaan to Abraham—a covenant of fulfillment and maximum goon pleasure and volume.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
USAGE 1:
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
by 000Six_Six000 December 11, 2024