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table

A British person.

A funnier and less objectively agreed upon version of "brit", typically said with disdain (serious or joking). Can also relate to British mannerisms or objects (see example 3)

Originating from the public access show, A Little Sketchy, in which the fictional character, Johnny Table is an incredibly stereotypical British person.
EXAMPLE 1:

Snobbert: *proceeds to use British pronunciation*
Quimbly: "what made you this way?"
Snobbert: "to tell you the truth, I'm a table. *cries in British*

-A Little Sketchy Episode 12

EXAMPLE 2:

British Person (Table): "can I get a nice cup o' wa'er?
American: "What a table!"

EXAMPLE 3:

British Person (Table): "in my home across the pond, we eat crumpets"
American: "are those table foods?"
by ThePlaidLad May 5, 2024
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Table0004

When your so bored you type a username
Hi, did you see that guy, Table0004?
by Table0004 May 20, 2024
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Related Words

Tableing

When you and your homies go out while being drunk and distract someone as another person comes from behind and body slams the unsuspecting victim into a table, then crushing them with another table.
Yooo me and the guys went out last night and started tableing unsuspecting elderly people. You gotta join us tomorrow night!
by Theonewhowhat March 19, 2025
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TABLE

A person who pops up randomly like a thirty second unskipable ad and brings the motherfucking table to the function
"Oh here comes jake the table" "table is so smash able"
by Capycinno March 22, 2025
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TABLE

An individual who pops up randomly around and about like a 30 second unskipable advertisement and likes to spread alpha male red-pill quotes and trying to make it seem like they are the main character.
Person One: "Oh, here comes table, I haven't been able to avoid him today!"

Person Two: "I know right?! brings the motherfucking table!!!"
by Capycinno April 3, 2025
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TABLE

An individual who pops up randomly around and about like a 30 second unskipable advertisement and likes to spread alpha male red-pill quotes and trying to make it seem like they are the main character.
Person One: "Oh, here comes table, I haven't been able to avoid him today!"

Person Two: "I know right?! brings the motherfucking table!!!"
by Capycinno April 3, 2025
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table jail

The extended period during a wedding (or similar event) when guests are stuck seated at their assigned tables for way too long—usually due to drawn-out speeches, slow dinner service, slideshows, or excessive formalities. Typically includes boredom, mild social anxiety, and several unnecessary drinks.
“We didn’t even get up until 9:30. Total table jail.”
“The speeches were sweet, but I was in table jail with a lukewarm chicken breast and a stranger named Noah.”
by tmarienem May 19, 2025
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