John Stockton 

1. The best point guard in the history of professional basketball; leads the league in assists and steals
2. To have tight short-shorts

1. Not Magic nor Jordan have more steals and assists than Stockon
2. Dude did u steal those shorts from the girls' locker room or John Stockon?

John Stockton by shouriman October 12, 2003

John McCaining

To have a very conservative strategy when playing Super Smash Brothers in hopes to just be the last man standing while accomplishing nothing during gameplay.

This usually includes avoiding contact with other players altogether while occasionally throwing projectiles or using an item. A person who was John McCaining will usually end the match with a win and only one K.O.

Generally, this will cause everybody to detect that said player is John McCaining and then focus solely on knocking them off for several seconds, creating an adverse effect.

This practice can often be detected by hearing a flood of "come on, step it up" and "you're too slow."

"I can't believe I'm already down to one life, I think I'll be John McCaining the rest of this one out."

John McCaining by Lo Siento Huesos April 9, 2010

John motherfuckin Rambo 

the proper way to reference the lead role of any of the movies in the Rambo trilogy, due to the massive amounts of ass that are kicked

"holy shit, John Motherfuckin Rambo shot down a helicopter with EXPLODING ARROWS"

John motherfuckin Rambo by DwightFry666 May 24, 2010

John Paul Jonesing 

The strong desire to listen to good music after an extended period of listening to bad.

After a long day of Muzak at the office I'm John Paul Jonesing for some Led Zeppelin

John Paul Jonesing by Little Walken December 24, 2010

John Feldmann 

A really awesome guy. if you don't know who he his, don't talk to me.

Person 1: "John Feldmann is my idol!"
Person 2: "dude same"

John Feldmann by just another hopeless fangirl December 8, 2014

john bland 

A man whom only eats ass

Hey what're you doing tonight?
Imma john bland some bitch

john bland by Curse of Three October 7, 2017

John Maclean 

A YouTuber that does makeup videos while looking elegant. Really pale skin and always wears black. Seems like a cool person, but honestly I'd be intimidated if I every saw this majestic beast in real life.

"You're wearing a black dress to the grocery store? Who are you, John Maclean?!!"

John Maclean by MangoII December 27, 2017