left-handed football bat

Someone or something rather odd or f'd up you might say. A person who ate a few too many retard sandwiches.

My drill instructor was sure a left-handed football bat.

by Jebus January 27, 2005

fucked up like a football bat

Adjective. A phrase used to describe some one who is really screwed up personally and mentally.

John is "fucked up like a football bat."
That's "fucked up like a football bat."

by SamuraiJack January 19, 2008

Foot

Noun. Pronunciation: /'fût/
When you make a farting noise on accident with your foot, such as on a chair leg or tile floor. Often very embarassing, especially when people look, then you try to recreate the sound, and can't.

"Hey! I just footed!"

by Jonathan LeMaster & Courtney Blake January 1, 2008

foot orgasum

the amazing feeling when you take of a really uncomfortable shoe.

one of the best parts of skiing is the foot orgasum when you take off your boots.

by wontman December 28, 2010

silent football

A game played mainly by men. People sit in a circle and follow a strict code of rules. There are many rules and defining them here is in essence, against the rules. The game is lost by accumulating the most points. The loser usually must complete a task decided by the other players of the game.

After playing a game of SF mike had to strip and start singing.

by Mike June 21, 2004

Football

*Not to be confused with American Football.
Football, often called 'The Beautiful Game', is invented by the English and is the most popular sport worldwide. The general objective of the game is to score more goals in their goal than the other team. It has two teams, each with eleven players separated into 4 positions:

*Goalkeeper

*Defence

*Midfield

*Attack

It comprises of two goals on either side of the pitch, with each team owning their own half. The goal that they want to shoot in is on the opposite side to their half.
Each team starts on one side of the pitch, which changes in the second half, and consequently so does the goal they want to shoot in.The game lasts for about 90 minutes (not including extra time) split into two 45 minute halfs, separated by a 10-15 minute 'half time' period.

American: Hey, d'ya wanna play some soccer?

English: What, you mean Football?

American: No, it's called soccer.

English: NO, it's called Football! We invented it!

American: IT'S SOCCER!

Rest of World: It's called Football, OK? Now just play!

by eden1023 December 8, 2011

american football

A internationally irrelevant sport that is very boring to 99% of the planets population. THe only reason Americans care so much about it is because they invented it and its part of their culture. Kind of like how Japanese people carea about sumo wrestling and no one else does. Another similarity between American football and sumo wrestling is the overweight "athletes". In this sport, a 350lb tub of lard can be considered a "star".

American: The whole world watches the Superbowl!!

Englishman: What a "superbowl"? Some kind of fruit salad?

Brazilian: Huh? Sorry never heard of it..

Italian: Don't know what that is.

INSERT NATIONALITY HERE: WTF is american football? Looks like a pussified version of rugby with padding.

by Bobson Keneth November 23, 2007