Fecal Touch

Characteristic of a person who fucks up everything they get involved with. Often witnessed in the workplace with respect to projects that do not go well.

Boss to employee: I think Johnny has some capacity to assist with the Johnson Project.

Employee: No fucking way- that dude has the fecal touch. Everything he gets involved with turns into a piece of shit- he's a complete brokedick.

by Steelman7 July 10, 2010

can't touch this

MC Hammer had a hit with the name "U Can't Touch This." Generally means "I'm too good for you." or "You'll never be as good as I am."

Two people are dancing:
Person 1: Can't touch this!
Person 2: Darn. (walks off the dance floor)

by ilovealtoids November 7, 2004

Touch Willy

An Extreme Form of Brown Nosing

Bob's playing "Touch Willy" with the boss

by Bob Smith UK July 2, 2007

The Markle Touch

The exact opposite of the Midas touch.

Turning something good into absolute shit.

"Wow, she turned that prince into a frog. She's got the Markle touch."

by tressymlouise February 19, 2021

Touch Blind

A person who can't identify basic objects by touch, is touch blind. Their fingers simply cannot touch and recognize, especially in the dark. The result is awkward situations in the bedroom.

Randy is Touch Blind. The last time Randy was in a dark room, he placed his micropenis in some dude's ear, which gave the guy an earful of jizz and a horrible ear infection!

Nelson is also Touch Blind. While on a date with Brenda and fumbling around for a few minutes, Nelson accidental entered through the backdoor prompting Brenda to propose marriage.

by MobyR March 25, 2019

torpedo's touch

the utmost of pleasurable pain,

and every servant boys worst nightmare..

Socrates, let me homosexual you (aka torpedo's touch)
servant boy, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not the torpedo......
(violent screams can be heard thru ought the pleasure chambers)

by l1111on April 24, 2017

Traffic Touching

A game in which you drive up next to another in traffic and touch the side of their car while still driving ahead.

"Oh dude, we'll totally do some traffic touching after work."

by ImNotNobody February 8, 2015