Granola Cruncher

Tree-hugging, bleeding-heart, high-in-fibre, low-in-fat, vegetarian communists.

The sort of people who hate the same government and military that is the only reason they're not speaking German or Russian right now. While the fact that they're not actively repressed is an important sign that free speech is still very much alive and well, it doesn't make them any less annoying.
Granola Cruncher: OMG like fair trade, stop the war, globalization is bad and stuff, I hate Bush because Vegan Times said he's mean, wow birkenstocks are cool.
by EchoZulu August 14, 2008
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Granola Bars

What you need to have if you're friends with a C2. They allow you to maintain your friendship with them (due to them only wanting to be friends with you because of said granola bars).
Person 1: C2, are you just friends with me because of my granola bars?

C2: Of course not.

Person 1: Ok, good.

C2: So when are you going to give me your granola bars?
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 12, 2021
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Granola-Bars

Used to create friendships with C2s.
"Friendship isn't about personalities, it's about granola-bars,"
- The Original C2
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 09, 2021
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Granola roller

An earth-loving, oat eating, barley praising, well-meaning hippie. Typically unemployed, underemployed, or an environmentalist. Roll those oats!
by Goat-a-roat June 26, 2020
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Granola hole

Referring to an asshole that has not been cleaned well enough recently before sexual intercourse resulting in crusty as or crumbs like a opened granola package
"Did you hit that last night?"

"Nahhh she had A granola hole"
by xbuddingwallflowerx December 22, 2015
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gash granola

GASH GRANOLA

noun: The dried, crispy bits of genital gravy, toilet paper lint, and other suspicious crunchy stuff, which is stuck within the pubic--tangles of the bath-avoidant, nature--chick's over--grown gash.

"That nature--chick is cute. But you know she's got Gash Granola. "

" I was about to go down on a hippy--chick, but she was loaded with Gash Granola. "
"She doesn't shower very often, and when I stuck my hand in her underpants, they were full of gash granola. "
by PurpleTantrum August 18, 2021
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Granola Mommy

A gal pal that just embodies the spirit of a true mom. Very precise, organized, and takes great effort in eating wholesome foods. Wise beyond her years, hip n cool, spunky as heck. She does pilates and yoga, doesn't take any bs but give her some mojitos and her infectious laughter will transport you to another dimension. I guess, similar to "crunchy mommy" but granola just sounds less intimidating.
Ouu girl did you see insert name she's such a granola mommy!!!
by just_stole_ur_mans$$678 October 06, 2018
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