bidet envy

When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.

Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.

by Bidet King November 8, 2022

Poorman’s bidet

When you flush a toilet and as it flushes it splashed your butthole

I was on the public toilet and it became a poorman’s bidet.

by Jarrodrm May 31, 2018

hobo bidet

A water feature commonly found in a park that can be used to clean the bottom of a person who poops outside.

Wowzers! I just saw a guy poop in the park and then use the hobo bidet to clean his butt!

by nedzors June 28, 2012

hood bidet

When you are defecating and the rat in your toilet splashes your anus, cleaning it of fecal matter.

I had taco bell last night and my hood bidet was hard at work.

by seas726 April 3, 2021

Manual bidet

When you blast a turd out so fast, the splashback cleans your ass for you.

"Man, I really turned the manual bidet to high last night. Even my thighs got wet!"

by Re:Milkman January 30, 2022

unexpected bidet

When you take a shit and when your little buddy (extremely large fat man sheeite) responds with a nice thtoink right to the ring piece (asshole)

Hey Johnny, last week I was in the fuckin McDonald's I ate 12 mcchickens I felt it comin so I ran to the McDonald's restroom, almost missed and got the worst unexpected bidet

by Upwards draft November 12, 2019

Backwoods Bidet

When an individual has run out of toilet paper while camping and a good samaritan pisses on their asshole to clean it.

"Bro! Out of TP over here!"
"How about I give you a backwoods bidet bro?"
"Thanks bro!"

by LouisianaLightninBolt September 11, 2019