Sperm Whale 

1. A large women who likes to be ejaculated on.
2. A large whale who likes to be ejaculated on.

Pete: Why did you go home with that large women?
Mully: Dude, she is a sperm whale.
Pete: Oh. Then kudos to you.

Sperm Whale by Bernard Bangwanger September 24, 2011

Sperm of the moment

Describing an act of sexual intercourse that was unplanned, completely spontaneous, and performed without any foresight whatsoever.

Bob: Dude I met this girl from Kentucky last night, asked what her name was, didn't get an answer, brought her back to my lair, and then banged her guts out.

Dave: Sounds like that was totally sperm of the moment.

Bob: Yeah, it sure was.

Sperm of the moment by busdriverboris3 June 18, 2009

sperm eyebrows 

When a girl gets her eyebrows waxed in such a way that the parts closest to the center of the face are round and as thick as natural brows, when the rest of the eyebrow is waxed into a thin line. This makes both eyebrows look like sperm, hence the name "sperm eyebrows."

Did you see Kelly's eyebrow wax? Total sperm eyebrows!
I told the lady who waxed my eyebrows to keep them as natural as possible, and look what she gave me--sperm eyebrows!
Dani got her eyebrows waxed really thin, but for some reason kept the front of them thick, they are such sperm eyebrows.

sperm eyebrows by Christina S January 19, 2008

sperm zits 

Blemishes formed on a man or woman's face after receiving a cum facial. These zits are believed to be caused by individual sperms getting trapped in the pores looking for something to impregnate. :( poor lil guys.

Betty/Bill, you should get some clearasil for those sperm zits I gave you last night.

sperm zits by Bigguns McGee July 7, 2010

Sperm Fail 

Someone who is worthless. A waste of space. A horrible human being.

Person A: I just got a phone call from that meth addict Joe Gaddis.

Person B: He's such a sperm fail.

Sperm Fail by Steve_Juggernaut December 13, 2010

sperm poisoning 

The result of too much sperm being released into the vagina, creating a condition inside that grows and mutates into a creature that exits the vagina in a period of roughly nine months.

Jane's at the clinic today, apparently she got a case of sperm poisoning a month ago.

sperm poisoning by Veen May 5, 2003

sperm bucket 

Noun. (Perjorative) A sexually promiscuous woman who has multiple sequential partners, typically in a single night, which leaves her vagina full of semen.

"'Didn't that sperm bucket's mama ever teach her about a douche bag?' Gerald asked himself. 'She probably got one for Xmas from her Auntie Hoe and clutches it to her tits on a cold night as a hotwater bottle.'"

-- Jay McInerney, "The Shrike" (short-story, 1983)

sperm bucket by Tummy Augratin August 14, 2006