Penis Shelf

Penis shelf is where you go to store your penis in the basement after you get married. A cold dark dusty shelf where things no longer of use are stored.

My buddy Freddie Goldheart used to slay so many gals , now that he is married his johnson is in the basement on the penis shelf

Now that I'm married I guess I will retire my johnson to the penis shelf

by Metroid22 January 22, 2022

Shelf Jelly

The byproduct of a masturbation session where your ejaculate flies from your penis with such force and ferocity that it lands on a distant shelf. The accumulated ejaculate can be compounded over time to form something similar to a Sploogy (an Emmy made of pure cum) or an Oskeet (an Oscar make of oxidized spunk).

Girlfriend: "Aww, that's cute. What's that award on that shelf!"
Guy :"Baby, that ain't no trophy. That's just shelf jelly."

by Leroy Actionslax November 23, 2015

Shelf Dick

When a man's dick is so small and feeble that it perches on his ball-sack acting as a shelf. Consequently, his piss runs down his balls before it reaches the toilet.

I dated this one girl for three months until she pulled down my pants and saw my shelf dick.

"Excuse me nurse..I do not know how to apply this catheter there are no instructions for if you have a shelf dick."

Bob: "Hey Ricky why do you sit down when you piss and it sounds like a leaky pipe?"

Ricky: "I was born with a shelf dick. If I stand up I will just piss all over myself."

by 352 Boys April 23, 2011

Meat Shelf

The Fold of Gut that hangs over someones pants when they have had 1,000 too many doughnuts.

That guy should wear a bigger shirt so we cant see his Meat shelf.

by Jim Reed May 16, 2006

Columbus Shelf

A variation of The Top Shelf. The act of defecating in the glove box of a coworkers automobile.

Gary: That bastard Jesse gave me a Columbus Shelf again!!!!!
Jason: I told you not to leave your keys laying around at the office.

by Jesse November 19, 2003

friends shelf

Usually pertaining to guys, the friends shelf is when a girl labels you a friend, disallowing you to be anything more then "just friends".

I am on the friends shelf because this girl hangs out with me and we get along great but i will never be more then a friend to her.

by Tongnar July 11, 2006

Top Shelf

The most expensive liquor in the bar, located on the top shelf because it is rarley ordered.

Wiatress: Would you like our top shelf martini?
Bob: Fuck not that shit's expensive.

by pinkpirate88 October 04, 2009