Asshole Meter

The asshole meter is a way that you can rate yourself to find out if you are a complete and utter asshole. The meter goes like this.

Level 1: Jerk, probably where most people fall on this list, they're generally nice people but at times can be a bit of a dickhead.

Level 2: Dick, this is the guy who you see calling girls "his bitches" and trying to get on every girl he sees.

Level 3: Douchebag, popped collar, hair gelled, sunglasses at night, you know the deal.

Level 4: Asshole, if you rate here, then you probably don't have many friends, you're an asshole all the time, you're that guy who scream at the drive through worker for ten minutes for forgetting the straw, or the guy who would literally steal candy from a baby.

Girl 1: I think I might like Joe.

Girl 2: Really he is such a douche on the asshole meter.

Girl 1: Really I only thought he was a dick?

Girl 2: Look at the collar! And it's ten o'clock at night, why the hell is he wearing sunglasses?

by ProjectACR May 13, 2011

Asshole Personality Disorder

A formal psychiatric diagnostic category explaining the complicated underlying characterological components of a complete and total asshole.

I eventually came to discover that my “ex” was suffering with a sad and pervasive diagnosis called Asshole Personality Disorder.

by Dr Bunnygirl September 30, 2019

dickfaced asshole

Someone who is such a prick that neither the word dickhead or asshole applies.

You slept with my girlfriend you dickfaced asshole?

by Mr Faz October 17, 2008

Assumption Asshole

Someone who assumes something negative after a general phrase, to either bring you down or be an asshole.

I'm gonna go outside.

You can't skateboard outside because it's wet dumbass...

I was gonna go for fun you Assumption Asshole...

by Kyle Loveless April 4, 2010

macaroon asshole

A medical condition involving densely impacted shredded coconut in the lower colon that results from eating too many macaroons way too quickly.

Lemme tell you, getting my macaroon asshole roto-rooted in an urgent care setting was a great way to spend a Saturday night.

by Dr Bunnygirl August 19, 2019

Gilded Asshole Syndrome

A fairly common syndrome, one that is worldwide, seen in some wealthy folks who, despite having anything they want at their fingertips, are still insufferable assholes.

Although it is tempting to explain away Benedict Donald’s obscene behavior as being attributable to Gilded Asshole Syndrome, it remains more likely that his obscenely disloyal actions are due to intellectual and characterological deficits.

by Dr Bunnygirl October 15, 2019

visualize my asshole

The automatic response a thoughtful person utters aloud when being subjected to the absolutely inane and painfully unclever bumper sticker that reads: Visualize Whirled Peas.

Why don’t you visualize my asshole?

by Dr Bunnygirl May 2, 2021