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crisis christian

A follower of the Christian Faith or a Christian-related faith who only attends church in a time of crisis. This is moderately similar to a Holiday Christian though the attendance of a Holiday Christian is more predictable. Crisis Christians may attend church for consecutive weeks (or even days) in their time of need and not give it a second thought once their prayers have been answered.
Person 1: "My husband lost is job. We went to church every week and prayed for a miracle. Now he has a fantastic job and we don't need to go to church anymore!"
Person 2: Well you're quite the Crisis Christian, aren't you?
by ValleyBreezer January 31, 2017
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Sparkle christians

A rare creature that can only described as the worst kind of hypocrite.
"Ah man Sara is so good, shes always talking about volunteering and our Lord and savior jesus christ"
"Really I fucked her in the asshole last night"

*look at each other and nod in agreement once, in unison say * "sparkle christians"
by Lilport January 12, 2020
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Lewis Christian

by fjafljjkdjflksjfwiejfijewdaifh January 21, 2020
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Christian Gravy

That moment a Christian creampies another Christian but they aren’t married
Priest: So what happened?
Man: I had Christian Gravy with a woman
Priest: You unholy bastard
by Ohyeahbigdaddy March 29, 2020
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Christian Rock

Music and songs that are directed toward Christians for them to praise God, hear a Christian message or enjoy with a rock music beat.
Did you hear about the Christian Rock concert this weekend?
by b4urn April 4, 2020
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Kaelya and Christian

A really hot couple. She is a goddess and he is the ideal brother in law.
Kaelya and Christian went to prom, and everyone in the room stopped to stare at them.
by Jaedubbbb69 February 16, 2020
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sloppy christian

the sexual act where a man drugs a woman putting her to sleep then ejaculating inside of her and a few months later the woman is wondering how she got pregnant when she has never had sex and you claim it was the holy spirit
Guy 1:Yo dude i gave jessica a sloppy christian and now im a father
Guy 2: you mean the holy spirit?
by AyyySlim June 24, 2020
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