The only known person with immunity to diabetes and obesity-related death. He’s normally found in malls around Christmas time scaring the living crap out of children.
Timmy: How does Santa Claus get around so quickly with all those cookies in his tummy?
Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.
Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.
by Inferior April 22, 2020
Get the Santa Clausmug. When Darnell couldn't afford the Baby formula similac santa put it on his bill and saved the holiday.
by Fred W Schwartz December 18, 2019
Get the Similac Santamug. The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the history of the world.
Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the humans
Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL
Parents: he wishes Santa was real.
Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*
Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*
Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!
Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL
Parents: he wishes Santa was real.
Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*
Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*
Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!
by Sir.Person July 18, 2020
Get the Santamug. If you find less that half a 750mL bottle of svedka any time after thanksgiving, you must get on your knee and chug the rest of the bottle. When you finish drunking you take off your shirt and run through the hall yelling YAHOOO.
“Oh my god Josh just did Santa’s Svedka Challenge that was wild.”
“Holy shit do you think hes gonna puke?”
“Holy shit do you think hes gonna puke?”
by Nathan Crosby November 30, 2018
Get the Santa’s Svedka Challengemug. Person 1: dude Christmas is just around the corner!!
Person 2: what?! Are you serious?? Talk about Premature e-Santa-ation
Person 2: what?! Are you serious?? Talk about Premature e-Santa-ation
by Alexander Bladez December 21, 2012
Get the Premature e-Santa-ationmug. When you use your penis to tug out a girls tampon then have sex while the blood stained tampon paints your nut sack red.
Oi, I pulled her tampon out with my dick and then had sex, afterwards my ball sack was red like a"Santa sack".
by Crusher042 March 15, 2025
Get the Santa Sackmug. A disgusting pedophile and pervert that watches children every year. Not only does watch children, but he also has the largest child porn collection in the world. Santa Claus has been arrested and charged for the possession of child pornography. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment with no parole. And the bars in his jail cell will be strong, so there’s no way for him to get out.
by PrivateUsernameClear June 11, 2022
Get the Santa Clausmug.